love too soon? Moving too fast?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
love too soon? Moving too fast?
1
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 2:35pm
Hi Everyone....I am new here and recently met someone who really means the world to me. We met on match.com over 7 months ago.....emailed back and forth daily for 4 months and I FINALLY accepted the date with him (I was a bit nervous about online dating)....anyways....things have been really, REALLY great. We have been dating a little less than 4 months. I have dated a lot and have not recently experienced the same connection in the least. We already have discussed the potential of marriage...AND he is closing on 32 acres of land....with the hopes of building a house in the future...and a barn for the horses that we both love. We have SO much in common, very similar goals, both Christian, same family lifestyle growing up....and much more. Seems to good to be true huh? Well that is my fear. I fear we are moving too fast....although I feel VERY comfortable where we are at. I worry that if we jump to marriage or a proposal in less than a year we may not have dated long enough. I did learn A LOT about him in email and our communication paths are so closely aligned.....I can feel very comfortable discussing anything with him. And.....the few times we HAVE argued closure of the arguement was obtained (I think because we communicate so well)......soooo onto our fears...We are both worried that we have TOO similar of goals (we want acreage and a family and horses)....we worry that maybe part of our love is blinded by this goal.....he also worries that it could be possible he is really seeking companionship SO BADLY it is blinding the love that we feel we have. We both just feel it is WAY too good to be true (based on past relationships)....so I really wanted to dish this out for some feedback. This is just a small explanation of the relationship and may not be enough to determine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 2:41pm
If you both have the same goals, values and ideas and you feel that things are going well and right, then go with it. There's no right time for things, it's more how you feel and where things go. If you're worried about rushing, then relax a little. If you are worried about getting engaged too soon, then wait- tell him you want to be together for a year before getting engaged. Then you can set the date for the wedding for over a year from the engagement date.

Really just follow your heart. If it feels right and your only concerns are just with timing, then just set things to happen a month later.

Be happy that you found someone that you can be happy with!

I wish you the best.

Alison

Photobucket