Love/Career Dilemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Love/Career Dilemma
1
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 1:11pm
Has anyone been in a dilemma where you had to choose between work/career and love?
I've always been very focused and driven about my career and work, that has always been the number 1 priority in my life over anything else, even love. Yeah, sounds cold and selfish, but that's just how I am. Well, right now I study and work full time, so I don't have time at all for anything else. I wasn't expecting this, but I met a wonderful guy a few months ago (it's definitely true what they say about finding love when you least expect it!). I think we are both falling in love with each other. I really care about him and I know he's crazy about me, sometimes I feel this guy could be the one. However, as things are starting to get more serious, he wants more time and commitment from me, which I can't give to our relationship right now. I only get to see him once a week, and sometimes not even that. He's been putting some pressure on me lately, getting upset if I can't see him or if I turn down his invitations to go out of town and have fun, etc. I don't know what to do. One option would be giving less time to my studies and not doing excelent in school (which I know will make me unhappy cuz I'm a freaking perfectionist. But it's not only because of that, it's also because I know that having excelent grades is the only way I can get some advantage in the competitive industry I work in, so it's my future career at stake here). The other option would be just breaking up with him cuz if I can't give him the time and dedication he wants, maybe I should let go of him so he can find a nice girl that will love him like he deserves.
I don't know what to do!!! I love this guy, I think he might be the one, but I also love my life and my career!
Anyone had to make a decision like this? What did you do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 4:56pm

WOAH! Stop RIGHT THERE!!!! YOU come first, and you are both dedicated to your carreer and your studies right now. He knew that when he met you, and he knew that you wouldn't have a lot of time for him. Sure he wants to see you more, but he's being a little selfish in pushing you so much. For you to even THINK about cutting back on something so important is CRAZY!! Not only would you be jeopordizing your ability to do excellent- something you strive for in your studies, but could mean a less fulfilling position due to your grades.

And what if you did give up your studies, get less in your grades and then he dumps you??? Where will you be then? Kicking yourself for it!!!

No, this guy knew what he was getting into when you met. You can compromise a little to try to maybe set aside an extra little time for him, but you shouldn't be slacking off just to go out and party.

Plus, you're not going to be in school forever, so if this guy is really THAT serious about you, he'll understand your committment and be willing to wait. I'm sure that you do get SOME time off for breaks and study breaks and whatnot. Then you can see him a little more.

But really, focus on you and what your goals are. If it means that you break up with the guy and find someone when your studies are over, then do it. If it means that you try to squeeze this guy in an extra hour here or there, do that.

Be true to you.

Alison

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