Lovers * Detachment
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Lovers * Detachment
| Tue, 10-26-2004 - 5:48am |
My ex bf of 2 1/2 yrs. broke up with me in the worst possible way that left me in a depressed state for about 4 months. He basically had an emotional affair with some girl at his school (i was insecure about him spending so much time w/ her especially when i was never around. It caused numerous fight, and finally, out of frustration, I demanded that he pull away from his close relationship with her cuz it was causing problems in our relationship. So he did. So i thought.) and kept it secret for about 90% of the time of our relationship. Dont get me wrong, we had a good relationship, but each fight we had gave him more reason to get closer to her and using that to eventually break it off with me. He had actually gave up on trying to work out the relationship that our arguments worsen. The fact that he lied about the existance of their friendship was like a stab in the back. He went to the extreme to prove his love for me and sometimes i thought he was too over loving. it was almost too unbelievable. maybe he was confused about what he wanted at the time so he chose her. Personally, i have gotten to the point that whatever goes on in his mind or right now, or if he feels he made a wise decision of leaving me is worthless to even think about. Yes, i do love him, but just like he told me on the phone one time after we broke up..."I love you, but not In Love with you." If he comes back into my life after a year, I know that i wont fall back in love with him because he cant ever take the damage he put on me nor can he heal the scars he left on my heart. That is unfixable. But what dont understand is after a year he calls me to "see how im doing" and i tell him that i am doing great....i tell him i have a new boyfriend and the sound of his voice changes completely. all of the sudden he gets quiet and mumbles his words. He's not saying much now. I know that response all too well...he's Jealous. but i dont say nothing and act like i dont notice it since i am doing most of the talking. He didn't say "I'm glad ur doing okay." or comment like he usually would. What were his intentions of calling me after all this time? did he expect me to be in a vulnerable state and fall back in his arms? And most importantly, if he doesn't love me, why is getting jealous?
Shouldn't he be happy for me? if he was happy for me, he didn't say. What do you think?
Shouldn't he be happy for me? if he was happy for me, he didn't say. What do you think?

Don't give it another thought.
Sheri