Love's Timeline

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Love's Timeline
1
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 5:26pm

Obviously, every love has a timeline of its own - but all too often two peoples timelines arent quite in harmony leaving one or both in a tough situation. This is to be expected since the chances of two people moving at the exact same pace are pretty remote. So as with most aspects of peoples love lifes...compromise is a necessity.

With that in mind Ive been questioning things within my own love life lately. I'm another one of those ones that has been compromising - for my love timeline has a faster pace than that of my other's. Which I have been totally fine with. However, as time continues to creep by I notice more and more that my patience is wearing out. Im obsessing! When? How much longer? etc. All these annoying little thoughts are confined into my overanalyzing brain because I stop and realize how irrational it is. Im so happy with the relationship...just not with the speed at which it is(nt) progressing. I keep wondering if its me thats impatient or if it is really him thats "too slow". Unfortunately thats all relative, whats "too slow" for one person might be "too fast" for another...it just all depends.

So my question follows this scenario:

You've been dating someone exclusively for a substantial amount of time, enough to get past all the initial infatuation (say a year or two). You have been able to get to know them on many different levels, love them completely for who they are...flaws and all. They know how you feel and want you to wait for them to catch up because they arent quite there yet. How long would you wait? How long is too long to wait? (I know this differs for everyone but I'm sure theres got to be a time frame that all would agree is beyond reason.)

That sad part is when you love someone that much and they are happy in the relationship as well, it almost seems impossible to just get up, leave, and move on. So as for me...I just keep on waiting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 8:07am
I wouldn't wait past the point that I was beginning to be more unhappy with the relationship than happy. Two people can love each other and care deeply about each other and be going in different directions.