love/sex/long distance relationship HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2006
love/sex/long distance relationship HELP
1
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 8:52pm

Hey iVillage!

So I'm in a relationship with a guy. We've been dating for almost a year, I've known him for two years and when we were not dating we were the best of friends. We know everything about each other, and I am in love with him. I'm still in high school, and he is going to college about 2 hours away from me. We decided to stay together while he's there because we just can't lose each other. I'm a virgin. Lately, he's been talking to me about sex a lot. He doesn't understand why I won't have it with him. He's not a virgin, but he's only had sex with one girl who he went out with a long time ago, but it didn't last long at all. He's my first love, and I'm his. I don't know why, but I'm just not ready to have sex right now. It's not that physically I'm not able to, because physically I want to, and I would love to share that experience with him, but since he's going away I just can't. It's so confusing. Although I know we can make it, and he re-assures me all the time that he's not going to meet anyone, you just never know. He likes to party so sometimes it scares me, although I do trust him. I just need to know that things are going to work out before I make such a big decision to have sex with him. The way I see it, if something bad happened (like him meeting someone else) and we had had sex before, it would be SO hard on me, and I don't know if I could even be friends with him anymore. He hates it when I put in perspective us breaking up because he says that's not right, but I'm just thinking about the long run. Also, I did ask him one day... what would he do if I said I was waiting for marriage (which I'm not, I just wanted to see his reaction) and he said he'd wait for me. I need some advice as to what to do. Does he really love me if he's pressuring me to have sex so much? Is it bad that I put in perspective us breaking up? Do long-distance relationships really work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 9:11pm

A long distance relationship can work if both people are willing to work at it. I applaud you for standing your ground. If I had to do it again, I wouldn't have given up my virginity so early... so hold fast to it! If he's pressuring you, then tell him to back off (but nicely). Stick to your morals, they're so rare nowadays.


Even though I don't know you, I'm proud of you...