Lovesick:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Lovesick:(
7
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 5:24pm
I guess I am feeling love sick. Feel like a school girl or worse. Feel like I will not see this guy for a few weeks, dont have any reason to go to his business and we never bump into each other. I posted a couple of days ago and got that he couldnt ask me out cause he has his business reputation to think of. I am so frustrated and sad, cause the last few times weve seen each other, I just felt so good. Now, I have no reason to see him and dont want to seem too anxious. Yes, I am getting it that I will probably have to be the one to ask him out, but I cant just spring it completely out of the blue. I have to go in there, still feel that he does have an interest and then, MAYBE ask him something. I dont know what. But now, I am so sad and blue to not know when I can see him again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: penelope991
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 6:15pm
Honey, the guy told you straight out not to bother, so why bother?

He's not interested, so quit fantasizing and find someone who is interested. Nothing you say or do will change this guy's mind, so enough. You are not love sick, you're in lust for something you can't have. Give your head a shake and stop it. You are worth more than chasing someone who does not reciprocate your feelings. So go and find THAT guy, and leave THIS one alone...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
In reply to: penelope991
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 6:18pm
If this man says that he can't ask you out because of his "business reputation" I'd think that he is either married, engaged or else. Id he the king of a Kingdom? Why else would he not ask you out? Don't get involved in this deal, as he may be just a man who would like a an affair or a one night stand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: penelope991
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 7:40pm
No, I guess I didnt write the post clearly. Someone on this board told me that it is possible that he couldnt ask me out cause of his professional image. That he couldnt be the one to do the asking out if he is in business. THe guy I like didnt say that, someone on this board. ANyway...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: penelope991
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 7:45pm
Either way, this guy isn't going to ask you out. Since you mentioned that he's really easy going and everyone knows him by name, is it possible that you think he's attracted to you because he's so nice to you? I know guys make this assumption a lot when a woman is really nice to them, they think that the woman is interested. Sometimes women fall into the same trap, the guy is nice to them and they think that the guy likes them, when he's just being friendly. Sounds like this guy has built a successful business BY BEING VERY FRIENDLY. So don't take it personally, he may not like you that way.

Believe me, if he was interested, he would have asked you out. No point chasing a dream.

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anonymous user
In reply to: penelope991
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:16pm
I'm sad to say that I agree with you 100%, Alison. Penelope, I have found myself in the same situation as you are in with a guy and as much as I had been hoping he felt the same way, I'm slowly beginning to see that he probably doesn't.

Like you, the guy I liked works in a management position and has a positive reputation around the business. He seems sweet and nice particularly towards me and I think that's what attracted me to him. At first I thought he was shy but it began to frustrate me that we would be alone together in conversation and he had PLENTY of opportunity to ask me out and he didn't. He's not married so I just left it safe to say that he's not interested in me and he'll never ask me out because he had plenty opportunity to do so. Mind you, I've seen him around for years.

So Alison, I do agree with you 1,000% in that if a guy is interested particularly when he has the opportunity, he'll do it no matter how shy or awkard the situation may be. This is why I'll never ask a man out again because if he can't ask me, then chances are, he doesn't feel that passionate about me.

Don't worry, Penelope, you're not by yourself. I do know all to well how you feel. We need to shake these guys out our head and look elsewhere.

Hold your head high as I do, smile and be pleasant. There will be others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
In reply to: penelope991
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 8:47pm
hi penelope, i am in the sort of the same situation as you....i fell in love with my attorney who is handling a case of mine.....i finally had to tell him how i feel and he still doesn't recognize my feelings.....i was sending him gifts, teddybears and stuff like that.....he said he loved them and to keep sending them, but then he got into a serious argument with his girlfriend, whom i didn't know he had a serious relationship with...especially since he said to keep sending those bears that he loved them....believe me i am so in love with this guy....but unfortunately he doesn't respond, in fact he told me to stop sending these gifts because his girlfriend threatened to leave him.....i still can't get him out of my mind, unfortunately my case is still going on and it hurts everytime i speak with him or have to see him....so i know how you feel, it does hurt and will take a long time to get over such feelings.....in fact i have been calling him to ask him important questions regarding my case and now he doesn't call me back right away like he used to in the past, ever since we had that discussion on the phone regarding his girlfriend.....i know love hurts sometimes, but it will eventually heal.....because there is no one in the world as in love with the guy as i am......anyway if you would like to email me my email address is babybearqt1@aol.com would like to hear from you and about the rest of your situation and what happens.... take care, rita
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: penelope991
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 9:03pm
Hi Rita, Sounds hard for you. I am surprised that he told you to keep sending those gifts when he has a gf. I guess he wants both, or is unsure. But for now, he HAS the other one, so it is best for you to try to remember that and remember that you are not the one he considers his gf.

I really am not in the same situation. I didnt write that much in my posts, but this guy who i like, is just an acquaintance. We dont even know each other that well. I have had very brief conversations with him for several years, while I was buying things at his business, but only this year have things sort of changed, at least for me and how I think of him. THe women who replied to my post were negative, i guess that;s their view. I dont really care. I am going to go on my gut emotion and I think you should too. But dont fool yourself. The guy you like has someone, and until that changes, which it could, you are not in it. The only advice I can try to give you is try not to be obsessed with him. Try to think healthy thoughts. Not that you NEED him. You dont. That's silly. Thats something we learn in movies. You dont NEED anyone, but yourself to count on. Best of luck to you! Pen