made out w/a guy and he hasn't called!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
made out w/a guy and he hasn't called!
13
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 10:00pm

I finally made out w/a guy i've been talking to/hanging out with for about 5 months or so. he invited me over to his place and we talked/hung out. i ended up staying at his place til about 5 am! he kissed me and was very passionate while kissing me, and for me i felt like i kind of held back and wasnt "all in." as much as i like this guy, i was soo afraid and nervous because i questioned his intentions w/me. i asked him if it was just for fun. he said it depends on where things go and what happens, because you never know what can happen. he says he likes to hang out and get to know girls and go w/the flow. he says he doesnt get to know a girl or hang out w/her just for the heck of it these days, because it requires time/energy. he says he was in a 4 year relationship , which ended about 2 years ago. now he has a thick defensive wall up w/girls and does not date. he said i am the first girl he brought back to his place in 2 years. he says he's sincere, and all his friends would say the same. he says he's actually very shy and conservative. I have been hurt by men in the past, and don't trust guys AT ALL now. i dont want to get hurt by him...

its been 2 weeks, and He hasn't called yet, but we still chat online daily. does this mean he isn't interested in me? he hasnt actually called me yet, or asked me to go out yet. he mentioned wanting to see a movie, so i followed up on it. the day he was free, i was busy...and vice-versa. we couldnt find a date we were both free, and the rest of the time he said he was busy w/weddings, b-day parties, vacations. he's going on vacation for 2 weeks. should i be worried? is he just really busy, confused, or taking things slow? or maybe he doesnt know how i feel about him, because i kind of held back while making out w/him? I like him alot...what should i do??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 10:16pm

What should you be doing is flat out telling this man that you want to go out on a date sometime. He doesn't need to call you because you are easily reachable through IM. If you want to talk to him on the phone, tell this man that you are busy and can't IM right now but would love to talk to him at 8PM on the phone when you get home and are free.

I think the problem here is this man is not clear on what you want, so you need to tell him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 12:50am
thank you for your response. greatly apprecicated! i'm just curious...are you male or female?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 6:25am
You mentioned that the man is not clear what I want, however I'm not clear what he wants either?! So it's both-sided.... :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 7:24am

If it unclear what you both want then there is a need for a discussion, ideally on the phone or in person.

BTW, I'm female.

Avatar for wildlucky4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 8:32pm

I have a guy friend that seems to like to communicate via text messaging... and yes, sometimes I'd like a darn phone call... but, hey.... it's a casual kind of relationship, so, for now.... if texting is where we're at, then that's what I'll do... until it doesn't work for me any more.


Good luck with your guy!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me  

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 11:27pm
Yes, as always it comes down to communication.
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 12:19am
just wanted to thank those who replied to my posting! i appreciate your help so much! i decided to be open and honest w/the guy...we'll see how it goes... wish me luck! i'll keep you posted...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 12:04pm
His clear message is "Lets go with the flow" meaning that hanging out, making out and possibly hooking up is what he wants. He doesn't want a GF or a seriuos relationship. He wants to be free to get to know girls like you. He enjoys making out and hooking up with no strings attached. Holding back while making out with him didn't mean a thing to him. He was enjoying himself as you were too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 7:44pm

Dating isn't easy. You say you held back while making out with this guy. He may be wondering where he stands with you. Since he has had some bad experiences in the past, he might wonder how to conduct his relationship with you. Why not call him or go online and tell him how you feel about him. Assure him that you think you want to pursue a relationship with him.

If he converses with you online daily, he must truly want to go on with a relationship with you. good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 12:21pm

thanks for everyone who replied! here's an update and i'm STILL confused...

we finally went out to a movie after 3.5 weeks! and, i had to initiate! felt like forever since i've seen him...he drove about 45 mins to my place, and he payed for the movie, so that's positive. everything went well, no awkwardness, felt comfortable as usual. he stopped by my place for 30 mins or so...i'm confused because why didn't he stay longer, and why didnt he try kissing me or anything last night...just a hug. maybe it was too late? (it was a little past midnight). does he not like me?? does he just like me as a friend?? what happened?? is he just too shy??

any ideas, suggestions, feedback is appreciated!

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