Making the First Move

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Making the First Move
11
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 11:05am
Of course, there are many conflicting opinions on whether or not women should make the first move when meeting a guy. I'm interested to see what the consensus is on this board! Here's the deal:

Met a guy at a club on Friday. He asked for my # which I gave him, but I didn't take his. He called Monday, we talked about 20 minutes or so, he suggested getting together sometime this weekend. The thing is, no lie, no games, I really am pretty busy this weekend. I already have plans for Friday evening. My best friend is in from out of town and I wanted to see her before she left, but she doesn't know if she's leaving on Sat. or Sun. which affects when I see her. I told him that I would like to, but I didn't know what my weekend was looking like because of my friend. So he said something ambiguous like "well, I'll talk to you later this week and maybe we can set something up."

Did that mean he would call me back, or should I? So far he hasn't called. I told myself that if he didn't call me by early evening Thursday (tonight) that I would call him. But a) I'm kinda chicken and b) I don't know if I should? Part of me feels like I should call to show my interest, since I was the one who didn't know what was going on, but part of me is skeptical about pursuing a guy in general. Did he mean he would call me, or am I supposed to call him? If I do call him am I supposed to plan the evening? Is dinner a safe choice?...it seems like such an appropriate first date, but I don't know if that's "outdated" or whatever.

Help!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

K

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Avatar for happychick01
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 11:27am










Hey K



I would call this guy up by tonight and tell him the reason why your BZ is that your best friend is in town and you weren't sure what day she was leaving this way he knows that your interest and that you weren't making an excuse up of not seeing him he will understand and appreicate that you were straight forward to him and I would go with dinner its a safe bet but this way you can meet him and get to know him better and then go your seperate ways of whatever have fun and good Luck!!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 11:35am

I would wait until your plans with your friend are firmed up, then call him back and say "I can't do it this weekend, but next Friday would work great for me", or "It turns out I'm free Sunday night if that works for you", then let HIM take the ball from there!


Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 11:56am
Hey, didn't you just post one about no first date jitters? Is this a new guy? What happened to the first guy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 12:09pm
Happy, I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. I already told him about my friend...but I know if the shoe were on the other foot I would think the guy was making up an excuse.

Northwest, good advise! (although I still hope he calls first!)

Truelove, yes...I'm out there in a major way! I did post about the non-jitters, and yes, that was a different guy. I have no doubt there will be jitters when and if I go out with this guy!! =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 1:26pm
Will be interested to hear how you do with all this juggling!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 4:00pm
Me too!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 9:18pm
I DID IT!!!!!!!!

After working myself up to a near panic-attack, I called him. I can't express how difficult that was for me. But yea!!

We have tentative plans for Sat. night. The thing is, he has a reception he's expecting to get out around 8:30 or 9. That ruins dinner. :( I'm so uncreative and it's so freaking cold, I can't imagine what else to do....but we'll work on that later.

I called, he was grocery shopping (i.e., not just sitting in the house not calling me). He, again, asked what my weekend was looking like! Good sign, right? So HE is supposed to call me Sat. afternoon (what a relief!) and we'll take it from there.

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 11:34am
So what about the other guy, the one who gave you no first date jitters? Is he still in the picture?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 11:39am
Good luck! I'm glad to hear he's going to call you Sat. afternoon, and I hope you both are free to go out and have a wonderful time! Keep us posted...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 12:55pm
True - yes the other guy is still in the picture. He, also, didn't call back...which I thought was weird, since he brought up meeting up again in the middle of our date. But I did kind of make it sound like my weekend was booked, which it legitmately is. But, in being Brand-New-Me I left him message saying I had a good time, yada yada yada. Then he left me a message back saying "I did too, you're so pretty , let me know when we can get together again." So I'm wondering if he was just waiting on me?

Jilly - funny, that was my nickname on another message board once. Well, this question's for everyone, I guess. Do you think it's weird that our plans are not definite yet? I'm such a planner I feel like everything should already be outlined, which makes me wonder if he really wants this date. Am I freaking out?

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