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Male needing a females advice
| Wed, 09-21-2005 - 3:16pm |
Its only going on two months but I am happy to say that I have discovered that my girlfriend is the one. We are both madly in love with each other. Last night she referenced us being together in twenty years, is it a safe assumption that she is thinking along the same line as me as far as someday getting married. My other question is when is it too early to bring up moving in together, she wants to move to a new place with in a month or two and I was thinking on bringing up the move in question. after two months is it safe to bring that up? I would appreciate any insight.

If you two are already talking about the future, I don't see any problem with asking her what she thinks about getting a place together. Some relationships move more quickly than others. Now, if you'd never discussed life past next week, it would be a different story! But it sounds like she feels safe enough in your relationship to bring up the future, so you should too.
Best of Luck.
If a guy asked me to move in with him after only dating for 2 months, that would be a huge red flag to me, even if I were "madly in love" (which I personally think is impossible after only two months--that's infatuation, not love--but I digress).
Moving in together is a HUGE step, and I want someone who would give in the weight and gravity it deserves...meaning taking it seriously enough to NOT rush into it. If he were rushing into it, I'd wonder about his emotional health and maturity.
Sheri
I'd have to say I agree with the red flags. Even if you are "madly in love" that's still so early to have had big conversations about things that might actually be big deals if you were to move in. For example, my boyfriend and I have talked very very generically about living together situations, but if he were to ask me point blank if I wanted to move in, I'd have to say that while on some levels it seems like a good idea (I'm looking to move soon too and have thought about whether it would be worth waiting to see where the relationship is going before signing a new lease for a year - so I can understand that level of rush), there are things that I really still don't know about him, and some things that I do know that I'd like to see him work on before we took a big step like that (financial issues he needs to clear up, for example, before I were to even think about signing a lease with him).
Moving in with someone is a big step - I'd think about ALL angles first. being madly in love isn't enough to justify it at this early stage. But maybe that's just me.
It's great that the two of you are on the same page and both want to see where this leads but you are still in the honeymoon period and that honeymoon might end pretty quick if you move in together before you really know each other. dating is being on one's best behavior- trying to impress the other person. Living together - well, it's about letting it hang out and it might always be pretty.
what is the rush? It's fine to feel committed to exploring the relationship (again, great you both want that) but give it a bit more time before leaping ahead to the next level.