A man who CAN'T love a woman?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
A man who CAN'T love a woman?
3
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 2:05pm

Is there any kind of psychological diagnosis for men who cannot commit or even emotionally love or care about a woman?

My EX was that way with me, still, after several years. His previous girlfriend/relationship was for 4 years (his first long relationship) and says he never 'loved' her. HUH?

Is it possible that psychologically this man will NEVER care deeply for a woman. I think this goes way beyond "fear of commitment" issues.

Any thoughts?

Thanks ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 4:11pm

These type of men are "committmentphobic" and they need profesional help to overcome their issues, whatever they may be. They present with certain characteristics and a trail of relationships that never went anywhere. They get into LTR but that will never head to marriage, there is no "love" but care for the other person. They like relationships where they can enjoy friendship and sex. They may even want, in their mind, to settle with the right woman but when they see that the relationship is "heading toward something that requires committment and responsabilities to the other" they bail out with lame excuses such as "I can't at this moment", "I feel that I need to review it", "It's not the right time", "I don't love you" or they may even disappear. This could happen after 2, 4, 5, 7, 10 years of dating you choose the number of years.

Your EX, with that 4 year relationship that never went anywhere because he "never loved her" should have been read as a "red flag". I'd have questioned why he stayed with a girl he never loved and for 4 years? I'm assuming she broke it up. The word "love" means committment, responsability and honor to another person so he couldn't say it or feel it because he was only committed to himself and not interested in having responsabilites or obligations to her. He was in for the ride while having his needs met. She was just a way to get what he wanted, like you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 4:12pm

berrysexygurl..

PG responded to your question on the ASK THE ANSWER MAN board.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 6:12pm
Yes this man has deep issues, it is definitely not garden variety commitment phobia. He really needs therapy to sort out his feelings or rather why he is afraid to feel
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