A man who lives with his parents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
A man who lives with his parents?
7
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 6:22pm
Or even with a roommate. Would that be acceptable for you too date him? Why not?

What are the good and bad things?

discuss
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 2:56pm
Hello again dj!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 10:07pm
I agree with ct--that it really depends on the circumstances. However, if a guy is in his 30's, still living with his parents and has no full time job and it continues like this for a long time (yes, I know 2 men like that) then to me that is just sad!! No way would I date someone like that--it shows total lack of responsibility. But you must look at every circumstance differently, it really depends on WHY he is in that position and what his definite plans are to get out of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 10:46am
It would depend on the circumstances surrounding it.

I am 31 and live on my own, financially its difficult but I'm an adult.

If a man lives with his parents because its "easier" and "cheaper", doesn't need to be there, likes mommy doing his laundry and all in all sponges off of them (i.e. they make the meals, he just eats them, he buys toys like motorcycles and boats) then no I can't seeing myself dating someone like that.

If they are home because they are divorced and need to get back on their feet, or are taking care of a sick parent than that would be fine.

Roommates...I think its fine especially where I live, its got a high cost of living yet the salaries don't exactly equal the cost to live here.

Avatar for delilahha
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 4:55pm
See I'm going through the roommate dillema right now--I think age and their relationships have a lot to do with it. I"ve met a 48 yr old man that is renting a house, and has a roommate. He keeps telling me he makes a substantial income (because I do too) but I'm wondering why after being divorced 3 times, being self employed and raised kids why he doesn't have a place of his own without scarey looking furniture! Get me drift? At my age it shows financial problems, lack of stability and possibly a problem putting down roots.

I have friends that are divorced but they at least have a nice place (apt/home/condo) of their own--by themselves--as do I.

Red flags are all over the place!

D
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 6:14pm
Well I'm only 31 so to have someone living with roommates isn't unusual. Also as I said, in this state the cost of living is quite high. However if a man makes more money then I do and has no financial issues then he should live on his own.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 4:11pm
You also have to take into account any cultural mores. Many adult Asians tend to live with their parents until they marry and some continue to do so after they are married.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 4:41pm
I have to agree that if the guy is living OFF his parents while at home- at any age- then he is a mooch and is always going to be. I personally know someone who is now 55 and still lives with his mother- living off HER pension income. This man has only moved out for a period of 6 months in his ENTIRE LIFE. He does not work. He does not go to school- never went to college or university. He had one job while he had moved out and since he did not become CEO he quit. His mother has allowed this to go on his whole life because he lost his father at age 11. This kind of man I would RUN from without looking back!

A guy who's up to age 25 who has never moved out because he's going to school full time would be a different story. But again, I would not think about him twice if he was not at least working part time and paying his fair share. Working and staying at home giving them nothing but saving it all for his own toys would not be acceptable in my books.

Any guy who has moved home to care for an ailing parent must be commended- unless they are living off thier parent's income.

Having a roommate is ok in my books, as it is someone to share the cost with and perhaps get a bigger place than you could or want to afford on your own. My dad lives in a roomming house (he rents out a bedroom and has full access to the living/ dining/ bath/ kitchen/ laundry). He does this for two reasons, one- he likes having the company to talk to and two- it keeps his cost of living low so he can travel more. He does not have a high paying job, but has managed to be able to take month long vacations to places like Cuba and Mexico.

I guess the biggest thing for me is that the guy be working and self sufficient. Then you look at where the money goes. Does he save it or spend it?

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