man's behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
man's behavior
5
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 6:59pm
I have been dating this guy for three months. Things seem to be going fine so far. We are moving at a slow pace. I like him alot. We have a very pleasant relationship. We are very polite to one another and we really don't disagree on things.



Should I be worried if he doesn't call me to talk on the phone? I am starting to feel that he may be losing interest in me. It may be my insecurities stirring in me. Lately, I would be the one to call and he would ask me out in that same phone call. We see each other once or twice a week. I don't really know how he truly feels except that he has told me that he likes me a month ago. He is kind of quiet, reserved, and doesn't really express his feelings very well.

I haven't been in a relationship in a long time and am not sure if I should be worried with this type of behavior. Thanks in advance for your insights.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 9:17pm
i have been going out with a guy for about 3 months now and he is not good with expressing his emotions or feelings either. In fact it is very hard to know what he is thinking/feeling and at first i was VERY frustrated by this but now i just figure i am going to wait and see. this is what I'd suggest to you: do not call him and see if he calls you. Its really the only way to tell if he is interested. My man calls me almost every night as both of our schedules are ridiculously hectic and we only see each other about once a week and thats if we're LUCKY....test him out, see if he calls you, dont always be the one initiating contact. in the beginning he called me a lot, then it kind of shifted and I called him a lot and i felt like it was always me initiating contact. So now I only call occasionally and it is usually him who calls...good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 3:19am


Hug to both wind1valley & caveofemptiness ^_^.

I am in a similar situation with wind1valley: this guy and I have been hanging out for about 2 months... at least once a week. Sadly, I am still in that VERY frustrating stage. And yes, I did the same thing... not calling and let him do the work. He started out not calling until the last two weeks calling a few times weekly.

But hmm... wind1valley, how do you know whether your guy friend is seeing you as more than a buddy? I can hardly tell what my friend is thinking too. At least caveofemptiness knows his friend likes her a month ago.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 3:13pm
This is so funny I am also going through the same exact thing. He is a great guy has his self together but I don't get very many phone calls during the week. He also goes to school afterwork so he is pretty busy as well as I am, but we usally spend almost every weekend together but I have been seeing him for 3 months now to and used to stress over him not calling but maybe once during the week. But you know some of us girls hate it when some men call to much at least I do. But yeah I have done the test and recommed it just don't call for a week or so and see if he does. I am sure he will so don't worry to much and if he does not at least you have your answer. Hope you let us know what happens.

Some guys are just not talkers on the phone and do not want to talk unless to make plans just remeber it is not you its them.

Missy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 3:53pm
I am actually kind of frustrated still to be honest...but i cannot do anything about it...he is very busy with classes/work/searching for a permanent job and I just have to understand. he does call tho on regular basis, in fact about 90% of the time it's he who calls, not me.

well my guy should be seeing me as more than a friend, he was the one who pursued me!!! I do know that he sees me as more than a "bed buddy", he has introduced me to him family members etc. also he has been asking me when i am going to tell my dad about him (which is a big step as my dad will not accept our relationship him being black). also he said this to me once during an IM conversation: "I am in love with your shape but i cannot speak" he is very private and just cannot talk about his feelings...i do not like it because it makes it very confusing for me (as you know yourself with your man) but i cant do much about it...we have been seeing (ok, like once a week at best lol) each other about 3 months now, only time can tell really and the sooner you realize that as well, the better..:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 10:59pm
Thank you Missy and wind1valley!

I just got so confused at times and hated to be so obsessed about figuring out what's going on. Missy, if there's anything which I doubt (hahahah), I will update here. :-)

Good luck to both of you!