marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2006
marriage
5
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 6:57pm
Does anyone ever end up marrying their first true love? I always hear people say that usually you end up falling in love a few times in your life, and the first time you fall in love you probably won't marry that person because you'll meet others. I hate that because I'm in love right now and he's my first true love and I hate thinking about it not lasting for marriage! I'm only a senior in high school but I've been with this guy practically all of high school, and I have thought about how I'd like to spend the rest of my life with him. Is this too early to think about something like this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
In reply to: caryyy2
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 8:57pm
It is a little early to worry about things ending. It isn't just that you might meet other people, it's also the fact that people change as they're going through their college years. You and your boyfriend don't know yet exactly how compatible you'll be 5+ years from now. I made the mistake of marrying my first love, and then having it all end in divorce a few years later. Now I'm married to my second love and much happier these days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: caryyy2
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 10:16am

caryyy2...

Pianoguy's "first true love" occurred when he was 12 years old.

I fell pretty hard for J during a 2-week family visit to Arkansas. J (who was also 12) was a beautiful brunette, had a lovely smile, loved music as much as I did, and had family that knew mine very well! The first kiss we shared together was FANTASTIC!

Unfortunately, the LDR factor (I lived in Massachusetts at the time) killed any chances of a possible reconciliation. A damn shame because I think J would've have been a terrific wife and wonderful mom?

ANYWAY..

This is the reason why PG "occasionally gets negatory" when it comes to believing in the success of MOST LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS! .

See what happens when we "listen to our hearts"--------instead of our heads?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: caryyy2
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 12:21pm

Caryyy2, I'm not going to discourage you from marrying your first love. But let's put "love" aside for a minute and start thinking like a mature adult.

What do you think of your boyfriend's family? Are they stable? Do they posess the same values that you do? Are there any alcoholics, drug addicts, debtors in his family? If so, does your boyfriend make excuses for them?

What does your boyfriend want to be when he grows up? What do you want to be when you grow up? Can both be done in the same city?

How many kids does boyfriend want? How about you? How much money are you going to need to earn to buy what you want to buy in the future? Will boyfriend and you make enough?

Is boyfriend a drinker? A drug user? Are you a drinker or drug user? Does your family like boyfriend?

Think long and hard about the honest answers to these questions. If there are going to be any issues don't think for a minute that love conquers all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
In reply to: caryyy2
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 6:44pm
My parents did. They started dating in Jr. High and we just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this summer. Of course there was one brief break up when my Dad decided he needed to go find his freedom. That didn't last (a week before he came crying back) and my Mom made him wait and get jealous while she dated other guys all summer! :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: caryyy2
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 9:51pm
Yes it's possible to end up with your first love but way better to experience life on your own first.
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