married 2 married relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
married 2 married relationship
5
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 12:23am
I am a woman and married for 14 years with a very nice guy. We have 3 children ages 13, 9, 2 respectively. Ther is no problem in our relationship right now. We are happy with the way things are going with our life. Recently, just a few months ago i met this man, i mean my husband also knows this man. I only meant to try to have sex with other man except from my husband, but it turns out that we both fall in love after that first time. I know of his past. He just got into marrying his wife now because he got her pregnant but only just after a year that they've been together. He really doesn't meant to marry his wife, because he really has a girlfriend whom he is set to marry, this girl just came to their home and told him that she promise to herself that the first guy she had sex with is the guy she should marry.
Ok now, we are both so deeply in love, even wanting to leave his wife for me. Please i need some advice on how could i live with these. I really am falling for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 1:34am
If there are no problems in your marriage and you're as happy as you say you are, why'd you cheat and why would you want to continue to do so, and risk what you already have? What you're doing is irresponsible, selfish and in the end, you may end up losing that which you already have (kids and husband). Is it worth it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 6:59am
Thanks for hearing from you. I also feel happy when i'm with him. There's a different sense of satisfaction, security and love i feel when i'm with him. I'm also sure that if and when mu husband finds out about what i'm doing right now, for sure he'd kill me. I don't know know how long will this last. I feel so alone right now. I can't tell to anybody that's why i found this to be the only way to share it to someone who doesn't know me because it's really dangerous to let it know to anyone else. He still keeps on texting me up to this time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 11:59am
What a mess....you're setting yourself for a heartbreak ...you say your marriage has nothing wrong, BUT you go have sex with this guy, who knows your husband and who is married as well, has a girlfriend and a lover -YOU-. Who are you kidding? After it all gets in the clear you'll end up alone because your husband will dump you for being a cheater and so will your lover because he has a wife and a GF. Wake up and smell the roses.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 8:01pm

If you are happy with your husband, why would you want to cheat with another man? Honey I would say, in most marriages, the husband or wife meets someone who attracts them. Since we make wedding vows to forsake all others and cling to one another, we are loyal to that oath. You are not being loyal to your husband.

You take a chance to lose your marriage. How would your children feel about knowing you are having sex with another man? As far as that other man goes, he is thoroughly messed up. It sounds like you both want to have your cake and eat it to.

You ask the question, "How can I live with these things?" You can't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 7:58am

Go to this ivillage newsgroup, you will get all the help you need from others in your situation:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlending?redirCnt=1

Cheryl