married man attention

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
married man attention
6
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 4:12pm
Why do married men seem to act single? Or why do married men that actually tell you that they're married still come on to you and want to pursue you as if they were single and think it's ok? There is a married guy i'm around alot.Everytime he sees me he's always hitting on me telling me things we could do if given the oppertunity.He could have had the oppertunity the other day while he was at work to sneak away for a few minutes on a break but he didn't take it. I keep wondering if he's all talk or if he was in a different environment would he actually take action.I have to admit that i am attracted to the attention. What woman wouldn't want to be complimented and flirted with especially if she herself was in a bad relationship with someone else where she don't get that kind of attention. I don't know what to make of it. I know he's married so he should be "offlimits" but why does he keep sending me mixed messages. When he's alone with me for a minute he wants to be all "suggestive" but depending on who is around he'll joke around with the other guys and hit on me or he'll mention his wife and change the subject.At a place i used to work at i was hit on alot buy married guys and single guys but i never entertained the idea of being with a maried guy there. What's so different now? Is this because he's giving the attention that i don't get from the person i'm involved with?I know this could be an explosive situation but it's really been weighing on my mind alot. He knows i'm planning on leaving where i'm at in the near future is he just waiting for the chance to "have his cake and eat it too?" or is he just playing with my head and heart. He has admitted to being a "big flirt". Can anyone give me some ideas about this besides the usual "GET OUT", "DROP HIM" or "he's married what are you thinking?"
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 5:58pm

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Honey, the answer is simple: their standards in life, aka their book, say that they can do that and that it's OK. They're the type of men who believe in cheating on their wives and not feeling guilty. They don't share that honesty and bond with their wifes. The vows they took say nothing to them. They don't respect them. They take their wives for granted. They think that their wives will be there for ever. Some of them may have a wife who knows about the cheating, but turn the other way. Who knows what her reasons are. Some of these men may think that going through a divorce is too much work or a messy situation if they're wealthy and divorce means parting half of their wealth to their exwives.

This particular man you have encountered may be one of the ones described above. It's easy to fall into the trap that this man is extending to you. He's charming and shameless. He doesn't respect his wife or you. He only cares about the things that he and you could do if the opportunity arises. His priority is to get laid, with you, OR with any other female he likes. It's all the same to him, but your body is there, available, interested and ATTRACTED to him. The fact that he jokes around when others are present means that he knows what he's doing and that he doesn't want others, but you, to know about his true intentions. Married men who cheat on their wives aren't looked up to in any place, you know.

I bet that if you and him are alone he'll jump you. He knows you like the attention and he's keeping this flame alive with all the "mixed" messages you think he's sending you. The mixed messages aren't that mixed. He's telling you what he wants. He wants to have sex with you and he wants to keep it a secret.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 7:46pm
Men shove the "married" factor in your face because they think all women want what they can't have, thus he is positioning himself as "forbidden fruit". He sounds like a rotten banana to me. You know why he is doing what he is doing, he wants to have an affair.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2007
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 8:38am

I hear what you're saying and I can relate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 10:36am

>>Is this because he's giving the attention that i don't get from the person i'm involved with?I know this could be an explosive situation but it's really been weighing on my mind alot.<<

Most likely that is the reason you are entertaining the idea of keeping this going....Why not either work on your relationship you are in now or get out...get some counseling for yourself and find your self respect. Just because you are not happy in your current relationship, do you think it is fair to hurt an innocent bystander in this...HIS WIFE? Turn this around what if you were the wife...how would you feel.?

He has admitted he is a big flirt, no one knows if he would take it any further except him, there is also something called and emotional affair which is just as damaging as a physical one.... but if you respect yourself first and foremost you would put a stop to this immediately. He doesn't respect himself, his wife, marriage, or you.

Get out of your current relationship, work on yourself, and don't drag someone else into this, his wife doesn't deserve to pay for your unhappy relationship or your state of mind. That is solely your responsibility.... It might make you feel good for a short time, but that will not last.... until you feel good about yourself respect and love yourself, you can't have that with someone else. Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 4:29pm
He did you a favor - he's married ... Sure the lure of the forbidden is seductive but best to resist ...There are plenty of great single guys.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 12:44am
This is EXACTLY what I'm experiencing with a married man.