Married Man? or Not Quite??
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| Tue, 11-23-2004 - 5:57pm |
Hi Girls!
I’ve a question that doesn’t completely fall under the “Dating a Married Man” category.
I recently began seeing a great guy. Fun, funny, hardworking, etc. On our third or so time of getting together for dinner, he mentioned that he is currently married, but has already begun divorce proceedings.
Long story, short version: Wifey was an alcoholic, she got put in the pokey for multiple DWIs, and he is divorcing her. She has been incarcerated for three years, and will be released in a year.
Questions:
Isn’t four years an incredible amount of time to be locked up for alcohol?
Can wives in jail/prison not sign divorce papers? Or be served??
I realize that he cannot control her behavior, and choosing to leave her for her lack of intention to stop her alcoholic ways is admirable – but what do you think about the actual status of the proceedings??
Am I being BS’ed here?
Puzzled,
Traci in Texas

Multiple DWIs can definitely end up being a sentence of several years. If she hurt someone while driving drunk, that could be an even tougher sentence.
She can certainly be served with papers while in jail. If he just now started the procedure, then it would take either 60 for the divorce to become final.
If he's telling you he started the procedure now but that he can't serve her until she's released in a year, then he's definitely lying. She can be served at any time, and if she doesn't contest, then it'll all be over 60 days after the paperwork is filed and he has his court date.
if i were you, i'd wait until the divorce is final before you get involved with him in any way.
anything more is just asking for trouble.
I think your being snowed big time. 4 years isn't a long time if she's had a 3strikes type law but it sounds shady at best, and why has it taken him this long to file? I don't find him admirable at all.
I'd not walk but RUN away from this guy!
OK, about what I thought. I didn't realize that it could be over in 60 days if you file while she's in the pokey.
Food for thought.
Thank you.
Since it's not getting serious, I would like to see what pans out over the next few months or so . . . . . I've always heard that if you give someone with missing ethics enough rope that they will eventually hang themselves.
Thank you, and I'll keep my distance.
Traci
I delved into this one a little further.
They were together (so far) 8 years, and she had kids from a previous relationship. He has a very close relationship with the kids. When HER father gets visitation, he brings the kids to visit the married/not-married guy.
I've heard of guys falling in love with the kids, and not the mama . . . . . but it seems a little odd.
The clamoring of my intuition seems to be pretty accurate from the responses I've gotten on here.
I may check this one out a little bit more before throwing in the towel. He has potential, it's just that nagging little issue of his wife -- y'know. LOL!
Thanks bunches for the advice and insight.
Much appreciated,
Traci in Texas