meeting with ex for a drink on Friday

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
meeting with ex for a drink on Friday
4
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 9:27pm
See my post below for "can ex's be JUST friends?"...well, I just spoke to him on the phone and we are meeting for a drink on Friday. I have butterflies in my stomach and can hardly wait to see him but I know I need to calm down and think rationally about it. I do not know what to expect out of this...
We have already broken up 2 times (second time was due to work schedules and maybe other issues) and I feel like there is no way I am getting back together with him and I do NOT believe he is out to see me because he wants to get back together with me. I am just confused at this point I guess. I am wondering about his motives but I cannot help but to be excited about seeing him...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 9:55pm






Well clearly you and your ex cannot just be friends - at least not for a good long while. You have too many conflicted, confusing feelings - you've already broken up 2 times, without doing any work as to the reasons why you split and how to make things different (I mean doing real emotional, psychological work on this) there's no sense to the boomerang dynamic you have going. It seems to just cause hurt and hope, and ultimately hurt.
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 7:40am
I do not believe him and I will get back together at this point, although I do admit I miss him and the second time when we got back together things had definitely improved between us. We split up the second time around because he was basically working 18 hours a day.
I am going into seeing him with NO expectations whatsoever and just seeing what happens. I am just wondering what his expectations are and I am very interested in finding out why he decided to see me when just a month ago he said that we will be friends and when I asked him when we will speak again he said "sometimes I do no speak to my friends for 5-6 months"...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 8:01am

Your ex seems like he just wants to keep you holding on until HE decides when he needs to see you. I doubt if the two of you can make it work since you've already broken up twice. I'd just keep my distance from him until he's out of your system, then, MAYBE then, you two can be friends.

All you're doing now is prolonging the pain and disappointment. You say you don't have any expectations, then why the butterflies in your stomach? You still love him of course but as I said, I do not believe you can sustain a relationship or a friendship right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 10:27am
The butterflies are because I am just happy to see him. Of course I have feelings for him and he for me but we did not have a bad break up. I understand when people break up and it is a nasty one, getting together is out of the question. Him and I had a mutual understanding on the issue and I think we just enjoy each other's company and see no harm is getting together. I am willing to listen to what he has to say and what his point of view is on everything that has happened since the beginning of the summer and then think and hard and long before jumping into any conclusions. The last time we got back together, sex was immediately involved (that very night we got back together) and even if we are going to rekindle the relationship, I have already decided to leave sex out of the equation for a while. I know you may think I am foolish for going into this but I hope you all wish me luck for whatever is to come on Friday!