Meeting the Parents... help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2004
Meeting the Parents... help!!!
4
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 2:16pm
I have been dating my boyfriend for three months now and he wants me to fly to his hometown and meet his parents. I would like any advice, from girlfriends or mothers... whoever. I want to make a good impression but don't want to overdo it. I've never been nervous to meet parents, but I really want it to go well this time. Also, I know that one usually brings a gift for the parents, but being that I am going to traveling, I can't bring a basket or anything too big. Any suggestions? I appreciate any tips, suggestions, or advice... on anything! Thank you so much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 4:29pm
I think the worst impressions get made when you're trying to make an impression. Just try to relax and be yourself. Don't worry too much about bringing a gift. Just be courteous and show appreciation for their hospitality without overdoing it. Don't try too hard, especially at being anything other than yourself. Have fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 6:18pm

I agree that being yourself is the best and ONLY good option.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 1:13pm
I went through this last year for the first time with my ex-boyfriend, so here are my tips.

#1 - Be yourself, but also be courteous. - Remember that they are his parents and not yours - you may have a different relationship - more jokey and cordial. I was respectful and acted very mature. Especially as you are being invited into their home, be respectful of them at all times - no matter if they are around or not (ie: if you will be staying in their home during this time.)

#2 Wear dark clothes to dinner. - I went out to dinner with my ex-boyfriend and his parents, kind of a last minute thing too. I ended up ordering spaghetti and dropping half of it down the front of my shirt. I made a joke out of it and things were fine - didn't let it show how embarassed I was about it. It was worse as I had a white shirt on. I would suggest wearing dark clothes - if you drop something on you during dinner, it won't show as much.

#3 - Don't try to be the center of attention - it will look like you are trying to hard.

#4 - Remember the brothers/sisters. Just because you are meeting the parents, doesn't mean you also won't be judged by any other family members that he has. When I went, I thought we were originally going to eat with his sister and her b-friend at the time. It ended up being her, the boyfriend, the mother, mother's b-friend, his other sister, his son..so I was bombarded all at once. I was just as nice and polite to everyone equally. He told he later in the night that he was impressed by how much I talked with his once sister (she's mentally challenged). That meant a lot to him.



Yes, overall - be yourself. And yes, it's ok to be nervous - we all are. But if he likes you so will the parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 12:09pm
Thanks for your advice ladies! I feel pretty confident about meeting them ... it's the etiquette at the "parent's house" and gift etiquette that has me a little frazzled... any suggestions about what to bring and what to do/not do at their home? Thanks!