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| Fri, 09-21-2007 - 1:34am |
I've gotten into a long distance relationship with a guy whom I've known for the past 7yrs... everything was great until I've been feeling that this has been a one-sided relationship whereby I've been on the driver's seat and he's jus taking the backseat. I've become really frustrated at him and have even told him abt it. But so far, he's not done anything about it and I'm on the verge of calling it off.
What do I do? He doesn't communicate at all! He doesn't call or sms or email or any other form of communication. I always have to be the fire starter and I am getting really fed up of it. But when he's in town, he's great and spends as much time with me as possible.
It's like he's just not really into this relationship or me for that matter!

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We've been friends for 7years but only been into a serious relationship since beginning of this year.
I feel that this is fate, there were sparks when we met 7years ago but both of us were in a relationship with different people at that time. And now, 7years later, we managed to hook up... I mean, I believe people come at the right time and place sometimes but I feel that he doesn't seem to appreciate it somehow. And I am not sure what to do with him. I've spoken out my unhappiness but he seems to think that I'm mad about something else. AARGGHH... he's so blur sometimes.
I'm just not too sure anymore about this relationship. Perhaps i should learn how to detach myself from him and see what he does about it? It's like a test? Perhaps he will panic once he knows I really meant what I've said?
Suggestions are all welcome!
Why should he pursue you when you are pursuing him, and this has been going on since the first of the year? Doesn't matter about the "spark" from 7 years ago, you were both in other relationships.
If a guy is interested in you he will let you know, by calling you or getting in touch with you. Stop initiating contact with him, let him come to you. BUT don't do it as a test or game (games have no business in a mature honest relationship) You need to get on with your life, find new hobbies, things to do, visit friends, make your life happy and full. If he starts initiating contact good, if not, then it is better to find out now. Good luck
I agree with you. In fact, I've told him that I don't think this is gonna work out and its best that we just go our separate ways. He's telling me that he does not understand why I'm flipping over a small issue.
He says that he needed for me to be completely strong and independent but I told him that sometimes I do need the emotional support and even if he dun understand, he has to try to. But right now, after half a year has passed by, I don't see any initiative from him so why should I try so hard then?
After all that's being said and done, he's still not reacting to it but still wanna work things out. Hence, I don't know what's wrong with him. It's like his character thats moulded into him which will not change. And that character/emotion is rather cold.
The real issue is that he is qualifying your issues.
<< I mean, I believe people come at the right time and place sometimes but I feel that he doesn't seem to appreciate it somehow. >>
If you believe that, then ... you have to apply it.
hmm... interesting point that you have said there.
I supposed he really did think it was no issue and I'm such a strong and independent person whom can handle almost anything... so not true!!
He has however, apologized in the end. His exact words were: I'm sorry that I've been failing to communicate and addressing your needs and wants but I will try harder this time around.
I've accepted his apology and we've basically both decided to save this relationship for what its worth. On the other hand, I've also made a pact to myself that I will take few steps back and staple my hands to my thighs!! And stop initiating... the first thing that he needs to fix, is that he should start initiating.
Actions speaks louder than words... so I've to see how golden are his words and promises to me.
And to answer starbuck70, yes... I am fine with long-distance relationship. Should everyting works out fine, I will eventually think of moving closer to him to close the gap btwn us..
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