Men and Future Plans

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Men and Future Plans
5
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 11:59pm
I've been dating a guy for 3 months now. Everything is going well, and we are taking our time building a solid friendship. Lately he has been discussing future plans over 9 months from now. I think it is a bit early to be thinking that far in advance and making plans as well. Am I overreacting? Why is he already making plans? Is he that certain that we will still be together 9 months from now?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 4:12pm

He's living in the moment and in the moment he's with you. This is the honeymoon stage of the relationship, he loves everything about you. In his mind his plans in 9 months include you. This may change in a few months though. By the 7th to 9th month the real "him/you" will start emerging and the plans could change, including plans made in advance. However, the real "you/him" could be something you both can deal with so plans wouldn't necessarily will change.

I wouldn't worry about his plans, I'd enjoy the moment and getting to know him better. In a few months this may change for you as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 11:24pm

I am enjoying getting to know him, and would love to think that we will still be together 9 months from now. But the realist in me knows that we can never predict the future, and 9 months is a really long time from now.

I can understand that he might be living in the moment, but what do I say to him when he brings up these plans again? Btw, the plans are for a vacation that he is already in the process of planning and booking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 11:24am
A lot of guys live in the moment - that's what he's feeling right now and he's voicing it. Obviously a real relationship will be built up over time. Take it in that spirit, be flattered but don't take it seriously
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 6:36pm
If he's making plans for vacation 9 months away then the relationship is going well. Take it easy and go along with it. The guy seems to be a good man who likes to plan things. If you want to go then help him with his planning. Be receptive and positive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 10:12pm
Hey go with it - don't overanalyze! Enjoy it... I can't say I've ever been with a guy who'll make plans 2 weeks in advance let alone 9 months. Let him book the trip - if you don't want to go by that point he will find a replacement buddy to take I'm sure. I'd take it as a sign he really likes you - but if he starts to become possessive and you don't like it.. that's another story. good luck!