Men are Idiots

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2004
Men are Idiots
6
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 11:07am
Dating has always been easy for me. I never had a difficult time finding a man. But finding a good man is another story. I don't mean to be brutal, but men can be complete idiots. Every time I think I found someone interested in getting know me and taking me out to have some fun, my date morphs into a lustful moron whose idea of "fun" is shacking up at a stupid motel or parking somewhere to get a cheap thrill. If not that I get men who can't have a decent conversation over the phone without asking me for phone sex. It's incredible the amount of jerks I have encountered being a single woman. When I do start a relationship with a man who I think is different from other men, I find that I am the Other Woman. Then if I do find a man with no strings attached and a million dollar personality, he becomes a smothering pest with no backbone. I don't believe my problems is because I have unrealistic expectations out of men. I'm starting to question if I would ever find a good man. I don't know anymore. I've been so frustrated that I considered cashing in men and becoming a total lesbian.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: chicacutie
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 12:02pm

Before you sign up for lesbianism, remember women are not perfect either.

There are plenty of great men out there, I'm kind of wondering what type of signals you are giving off that attracts these particular type of men. Are you telling them that you are not interested in a physical relationship right away? Are you prequalifying your dates with an "Are you married or do you have a girlfriend???" Do you make it clear that you have friends, hobbies and other obligations that will take some of your time?

Prequalify, prequalify, prequalify

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
In reply to: chicacutie
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 12:31pm

Well, you're the common denominator in every relationship, situation and circumstance in your life. So you're attracting losers......like attracts like.

Are you wanting them to be "what you're not"....or are you wanting them to be like you are because you're so complete, secure, mature, and successful that you won't trade it or cash out or enable someone to "have what you have"?

Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: chicacutie
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 1:27pm

chicacutie...

If it's any consolation to you....Pianoguy has encountered a few "jerky women" in his profession too!

Fortunately---most ladies I know (and they ARE LADIES)...know the difference between how much attention they'd like from us...and whether it just fun to tease or "lead us on?"

Women who have convinced themselves that they're so attractive and that they can get ANY MAN ON THE PLANET to notice them just by snapping their fingers....are often disappointed when we choose to look the other way!

Perhaps you need to ask yourself if it's really THE GUYS who are the jerks?

If your relationships have a tendency to end on a sour note, there's a very good possibility the tunes you've been singing to your former boyfriends---need to be changed???

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
In reply to: chicacutie
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 1:41pm

Yup! That's been the story of my dating life, lately. At my age, it is very easy to meet a guy who has a SO. But you need to come right out and ask the bloke, before you waste too much time on him. Don't worry about looking like the jealous type. Ask him if he's married and if he says no, ask him if he has a gf. And don't fall for "I just broke up with my gf and she still calls me, stalks me etc..." That happened to me. I fell for that nonsense and found out that the ex-stalker was the current gf. Maybe in his mind she was an ex. He just never told her.

Now, I don't know what to tell you about the clingy in your face type of guy. They can be the most annoying, but if you set some boundaries, they should respect them. Especially if they have a great personality and are crazy about you. So if you date an overly nice guy, don't right away think he's a clingy loser. Most guys don't fall for a girl so quickly, but when they do, they fall hard.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: chicacutie
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 3:29pm

there are decent guys out there - ask friends to set you up with people, do volunteer work, be friends for a long time first before becoming involved - get to know the type of person he is,


sometimes you get what you wish for or expect - so you have to change your expectations and attitude and hopefully the quality of men you attract will improve. Never allow yourself to date someone who doesn't treat you with respect.

,
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: chicacutie
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 6:06pm

It doesn't really sound like dating has been "easy" for you at all.

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