men are so confusing..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
men are so confusing..
3
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 8:37pm
Alright, so i have been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks now, he calls me, texts me, and we hang out often. Hes a really great guy and has a wonderful personality, he's a total nice guy and i think that's awesome about him. The problem is, he has several female friends that he does things with and im not really sure if he has intentions of liking me and starting a relationship or if he just wants me to be another one of his "chick friends." And this whole situation is weird for me because i'm normally not a jealous person and in my past relationships i was totally fine with my guy talking to other girls, but this just bothers me for some odd reason. I guess i would like to know what i should say to him to let him know that i do like him, or how i can find out if he likes me or not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 9:23pm
Hi. Some guys are exactly as you described and so are some girls. They have lots of friends and they treat them all very well and spend time with them. This isnt something to be threatened of in my opinion but it may indeed take longer to figure out what his exact interest is in you. I would welcome that opportunity if I were you. Sometimes it does take time to figure out where to place someone in your life and it sounds like you could have fun inside of that process with this guy. I would be especially attentive to body language and eye contact. A person who is truly interested in you will give you individual attention even when there are a lot of people around. They will even go out of there way to do so and in my experience they tend to look you in the eye consistently while interacting with you. Hope this helps!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 11:03pm

Usually a guy will make some kind of statement that lets you know he is romantically interested in you. He would tell you he considers you special and different from his other female friends. But even if he didn't put it into words, I think he would also stop spending as much time hanging out with other women, because he wouldn't want you to feel threatened. I'm not saying he would stop seeing and talking to his female friends altogether... but it's natural to spend LESS time with buddies as you begin spending MORE time with a love interest.

If he hasn't changed his hanging out habits in any way since he started seeing you, my guess is he considers you just a pal.

You could be bold and just tell him you find him attractive, and then ask him what he thinks of you.

Personally, I always preferred men who were CLEAR about their romantic interest in me, so I didn't have to do any guessing or chasing. But whatever works for you is fine...

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 10:49am

kaya_ann...

A male point of a view from Pianoguy:

Expecting EXCLUSIVITY after only 3 weeks of dating is a bit naive! No matter how many times a man may call, email, text message or personally visit ANY woman...this doesn't automatically cancel out any previous 'woman friendships' that he might still have?

Your mission....should you decide to accept it....is NOT to get 'hung up' or become "too eager TOO QUICKLY" if your friendship begins to develop into a serious relationship!

If the man you're interested in begins to display SERIOUS INTEREST IN YOU after 3-6 months, you have every right to ask him "if you're happy with me, why is it necessary for you to date other women?"

Pianoguy