Men, women and sex...What to do?
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Men, women and sex...What to do?
| Sun, 04-22-2007 - 11:19pm |
I'm new here and have a question!
I just started dating this guy about 3 weeks ago. So far, we have gone out about 3 times...so on average, once a week. We don't talk on the phone much at all (maybe once a week for a few minutes, basically to plan the date) and he text messages me maybe 2 times a week. I asked him why he doesn't call me more, and he said that he is "bad at talking on the phone, and doesn't like it"....what does this mean? Is this true that guys really DON'T like talking on the phone?
Anyway, other than the phone thing, everything else is great with us. We get along well and have a lot in common! We talked for hours on friday night, about everything. There was never a dull moment in our conversation and had a great time. Later on during the night, we started making out in the middle of watching a movie. He asked if we could go over to his bed. So we went over there and he started trying to take off my pants. I stopped him because I am on my period. He was very disappointed. I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said so naturally "have sex"...I was kind of floored here. He acted like it wasn't a big deal really. I mean, in our previous dates, we did mess around a little and make out...but never got that far. In fact, a couple weeks ago I did tell him that I didn't want to have sex that night and he said that was fine. I guess now because we have been dating 3 weeks that we are "ready" for sex in his eyes? I told him that I have only been with one other person in my life..and I didn't know if I was really ready to have sex with him yet. I asked him what made HIM so special? He said that sex isn't really that big of a deal. He said he has been with maybe 7 people or so. By the way, I am 22 and he is 23.
Maybe because I have only been with one other person (whom I had a very long term relationship with) I am nervous about doing it with someone new. I don't know. He acted like he wanted to do it on the next date. I think he is kind of expecting it. Anyway, my question is- is sex that big of a deal? Am I making too much of this? I mean, I DO really want to have sex with him...I am very attracted to him and interested, but I feel that we need to maybe KNOW eachother better...(he said he thinks we know eachother well enough) or something. If he called more, or if we saw eachother more, then maybe we could get to know eachother better...but we've only seen eachother 3 or 4 times since we met.
What should I do? I am afraid that I will get very attached if I have sex with him...But I don't want him to lose interest if I don't have sex with him yet. Do you think he is just using me for sex? He does seem to really be genuinely interested in me, and said he is ready for a relationship. He text messaged me today, saying that he was talking about me all night with his friends, about how much we have in common, and how "hot" I am, etc. He seems to really like me. I am just skeptical about him not calling me! Is this just a guy thing?
Should I just go forward and have sex with him? I don't want him to think I'm weird if I wait longer, in this day and age, it would be unusual to wait much longer!
HELP! Thanks in advance!
I just started dating this guy about 3 weeks ago. So far, we have gone out about 3 times...so on average, once a week. We don't talk on the phone much at all (maybe once a week for a few minutes, basically to plan the date) and he text messages me maybe 2 times a week. I asked him why he doesn't call me more, and he said that he is "bad at talking on the phone, and doesn't like it"....what does this mean? Is this true that guys really DON'T like talking on the phone?
Anyway, other than the phone thing, everything else is great with us. We get along well and have a lot in common! We talked for hours on friday night, about everything. There was never a dull moment in our conversation and had a great time. Later on during the night, we started making out in the middle of watching a movie. He asked if we could go over to his bed. So we went over there and he started trying to take off my pants. I stopped him because I am on my period. He was very disappointed. I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said so naturally "have sex"...I was kind of floored here. He acted like it wasn't a big deal really. I mean, in our previous dates, we did mess around a little and make out...but never got that far. In fact, a couple weeks ago I did tell him that I didn't want to have sex that night and he said that was fine. I guess now because we have been dating 3 weeks that we are "ready" for sex in his eyes? I told him that I have only been with one other person in my life..and I didn't know if I was really ready to have sex with him yet. I asked him what made HIM so special? He said that sex isn't really that big of a deal. He said he has been with maybe 7 people or so. By the way, I am 22 and he is 23.
Maybe because I have only been with one other person (whom I had a very long term relationship with) I am nervous about doing it with someone new. I don't know. He acted like he wanted to do it on the next date. I think he is kind of expecting it. Anyway, my question is- is sex that big of a deal? Am I making too much of this? I mean, I DO really want to have sex with him...I am very attracted to him and interested, but I feel that we need to maybe KNOW eachother better...(he said he thinks we know eachother well enough) or something. If he called more, or if we saw eachother more, then maybe we could get to know eachother better...but we've only seen eachother 3 or 4 times since we met.
What should I do? I am afraid that I will get very attached if I have sex with him...But I don't want him to lose interest if I don't have sex with him yet. Do you think he is just using me for sex? He does seem to really be genuinely interested in me, and said he is ready for a relationship. He text messaged me today, saying that he was talking about me all night with his friends, about how much we have in common, and how "hot" I am, etc. He seems to really like me. I am just skeptical about him not calling me! Is this just a guy thing?
Should I just go forward and have sex with him? I don't want him to think I'm weird if I wait longer, in this day and age, it would be unusual to wait much longer!
HELP! Thanks in advance!
Signatures On
| Sun, 04-22-2007 - 11:36pm |
It sounds like he is pressuring you too much. He doesn't sound invested in the relationship on an emotional level. He is not calling enough and no, it is not a guy thing. Being skeptical is good. If you only want, at this point, a sexual relationship, then have sex with him. I am not saying it can't grow, but at this point that is all I see.
| Mon, 04-23-2007 - 12:06am |
IMHO, this guy is in for the sex part and the getting to know you more part isn't in his agenda. He's been with 7 women and sex isn't a big deal to him..He's only 23 so that means that he's looking for casual sex probably. That says tons about his character. He has a need and he wants to have it met. Since you have a different view on the deal I'd be cautions and would in fact re-think if this guy is right for you. His view of sex is somewhat loss and carefree in my opinion, BUT that's just me. I'd be thinking in how healthy this guy is...these days of STD and aids it only takes one time to ruin ones life.
