Mentality Gap

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Mentality Gap
17
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 1:17pm

The man I recently broke up with won't leave me alone. He was desperately trying to get me to be friends with him after the breakup, and I wasn't interested. We didn't start out as friends. I'm not in the habit of staying friends with my exes.

Brat Princess

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: dumberu
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 4:18pm

A few things could be going on here:


1. he is very insecure and needs to know that you and he can be friends and he can touch base with you every now and then and maybe it leads to a reconciliation one day - this is why guys like to be friends with their exes.


2. he is being persistant because he is under a false impression that persistance like this is romantic and a woman is impressed with it.


3.he is a control freak.


If you state what you want out of life...which in this case is "no friends"...he has no choice but to accept it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: dumberu
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 12:16pm

It's not over yet.

Brat Princess
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: dumberu
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 12:27pm

I vote passive-aggressive.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
In reply to: dumberu
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 1:31pm

His trying to convince you to talk to him/be friends or whatever reeks of a guy that is manipulative. Things are not going according to his plan and he wants to rectify that. I'm afraid the only way to really get this guy out of your life is to be very upfront and blunt with him (if that is what you would like to do). However, if you decide to keep him in your life as friends or "other" don't be surprised when this behavior continues every time you don't follow along with what he wants. Sorry you have to put up with this! Yuk!

YG

http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: dumberu
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 3:16pm

yogagirl and vexer make really good points and offer valid suggestions on how to handle the situation. He has turned himself into a pest who needs to be dealt with in a very firm manner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: dumberu
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 10:57am

Thank you everyone for your responses. Hopefully, I won't have to resort to involving the authorities and to issuing threats.

Brat Princess
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: dumberu
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 11:54am
Is he still bothering you almost 3 weeks later?

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: dumberu
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 4:24pm

Out of curiousity, have you ever texted back "go away?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: dumberu
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 5:00pm
many times, in the beginning, but he told me sob stories, so i tried to support him, I never said I wanted to get back together. He was sending too many mixed signals,
Brat Princess
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: dumberu
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 5:07pm
Since it's only texts, I think that at the very least, it's time to contact your cell phone company and see if you can block unwanted texts.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

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