Mentality Gap

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Mentality Gap
17
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 1:17pm

The man I recently broke up with won't leave me alone. He was desperately trying to get me to be friends with him after the breakup, and I wasn't interested. We didn't start out as friends. I'm not in the habit of staying friends with my exes.

Brat Princess

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: dumberu
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 11:36am
I agree with vexer block his texts and calls and emails.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2007
In reply to: dumberu
Sun, 11-04-2007 - 1:56pm

This is the same story with lots of guys after the girl ends the relationship.

I have a friend who is going through a breakup right now (5 years and lived together), and all she needed was to keep contact with her future ex to a bare minimum until after the the moving issues were done and then there would be no contact at all. She asked him not to contact her, but he used their moving issues as a reason to keep in touch with her and discuss being friends (She wasn't having it, because she knew there was something manipulative behind that gesture.... and there usually is when suggested that soon after a break-up).

You don't try to remain friends with an ex IMMEDIATELY after a break-up, that just leads to sex and getting back into the relationship you were trying to get out of.

So whether its moving questions or a small child, its the same weapon. You need to hold fast to your demands, and not attract anymore attention from him on your end by entertaining his communications. Don't reply to phone calls or emails or smoke signals your ex is sending. You're done. Eventually your constant showing of the cold, silent shoulder will let the message sink into his head.

A lot of times when ending a relationship, politeness needs to go out the window in order for the other person to get the point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: dumberu
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 12:16pm

Thank you for the level-headed approach, I concur on all accounts with you.


I pictured the cold shoulder, but my "compassion" got the in way.

Brat Princess
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: dumberu
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 8:12pm
You really do need to be firm and consistent - that is the key!
,
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: dumberu
Wed, 11-14-2007 - 6:46pm

Brat Princess
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
In reply to: dumberu
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 9:05am

It sounds like he's pregnant and you're the father.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: dumberu
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 12:43pm

I must too obtuse and ignorant to comprehend your intricate reference.


Brat Princess

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