Messy Situation
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| Thu, 07-13-2006 - 10:16pm |
Ok, I dont even know where to start. I'll try. I have been seeing this guy for about 8 months. Well not really "seeing" because we hardly ever "see" each other. Anywayz, so Im dealing with this guy & I knew from day one that he has a girlfriend. At first it was cool, because I wasnt looking for anything serious. It was only supposed to be a one night thing. It has turned into a once a week thing. I was ok with that at first too. I felt like we were using each other. I had his cell # and I always had the option to call if I wanted to. I hardly EVER called. I would always wait on him. A couple of months ago he changed cell carriers and got a new #. He never gave it to me. When he calls he makes the # private. Anyhow, he usually calls every 3-4 days. Always. In the past 8 months there hasnt been a week that went by without him calling. Now as I sit here(day 11) thinking, obsessing, wondering, WTF??.
Last night my car was broken into and my cd player, amp, speakers were all stolen. I really hate to accuse someone but I am starting to think he possibly had somethin to do with it!! I mean he has been in my car alot of times so he knows what kind of system I had. I am so hurt. I mean maybe it was just random act. It just seems mighty funny out of all the cars we have in our yard, they or whoever chose mine. My windows are tinted real dark, so someone couldnt just glance and see in. Oh and none of the windows were broken. No forced entry. I recall giving him the code maybe once or twice to unlock the doors. I dont know what to think. I just dont want to believe that someone that I liked and trusted so much could possibly have done this to me. It's killin me that he hasnt called & that makes it even more suspicious.
He is the only man Ive been with in the last 8 months. I know I should not even be messing with him in the 1st place because he's already taken, but I cant take that back. I cant call him. Thats outta the question. I don't even know where he lives, we always meet somewhere. I know this sounds stupid, but could somebody shed some light on the situation. I just need advice. Oh by the way I'm 26 and he is 22. (if that makes any difference)

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Wow, I'm really sorry to hear about your car...and man, that DOES sound suspicious. But is it enough to take to the police (could they get prints)? But I don't know, do you even want to go there?
I think, though, that even if he DOES end up calling you (and even if he had nothing to do with the theft), that it's best for you to move on. The fact that you even think he'd be capable of that isn't good, plus if you're starting to care whether he calls you or not, that's not a good sign...you're getting attached and that just means that you're gonna get (more) hurt if you continue.
Sheri
Thanx to both of u for your replies. Today is day 15 and still no call. I cannot believe it. I mean I thought we were better than THIS. I dont think movin is on is goin to be a problem. I just thought we were friends, but now I see that I was just his late-nite-cut-up. We never went out, never even spoke of it. He didnt give me his new cell #. I dont know where he lives. I wouldnt have known about his job if someone else hadnt told me. He tried to play me like he was unemployed and tryin to find a job & I believed him at first and he got about $100 out of me. His girl called my phone once, and I could hear him in the background sayin really messed up s**t about me. Even then, I didnt throw salt on his game. He apologized, and I accepted. I dont even know why I am obsessing over him. I think it's because I wanted to be the one to end it, the one to tell him goodbye. It's cool though. It's his loss.
I posted here cuz I needed someone to vent to. We were on the low, and there isnt anyone in my life that I can talk to about this because they either know him, his girl or his friends. I journal a lot, not just about this but everything. That usually helps me deal. I just wanted to get someone elses point of view on this situation. I also have one more question, If he happens to call again, how should I handle it???
If he calls again, I would pick up the phone and tell him to not call again. Sometimes not answering the phone causes them to keep calling because it becomes a game they want to win. I've had that experience. If he continues calling after you tell him not to, simply pick the phone up, say nothing and hang up.
Hope this helps. It's a tough situation because of bruised egos but it sounds like you're handling it well...
Obviously, it is time for you to move on. This man will eventually call you because you have always been there for him. So the next time he calls pick up the phone and tell him that you are very busy and don't have time for him any more. Also tell him that your car was picked clean.
As far as your car is concerned I have a little story to tell you. I belonged to a club with a clubhouse. One time I brought a friend to do something with me in the clubhouse and I had trouble opening the combination lock. I gave my friend the combination in the hopes he would help me open the lock.
The very next day all the equipment inside the clubhouse was stolen. I never thought my friend would do anything to compromise the club, but I was suspicious anyway. I questioned him thoroughly and he begrudgingly admitted he gave the combination to some drug addicts. He got caught up bragging about knowing people in the club and to prove it he blabbed about knowing the combination.
My guess is that your little FWB friend who is less than ethical passed on your car code since none of the windows were broken.
If you read the archives, you will find several people who have been in a similar situation. You are on the right track getting rid of this man. He expects you to be on call, yet calls from strange numbers and private numbers to make sure you don't get his cell or home number. This means he doesn't want you to be able to contact him. He wants complete control and gets aggressive with the phone calls when you don't respond.
Time for you to go out and make some new friends, get involved in some new activities and widen your circle. Otherwise you will be left daydreaming about Mr. Wrong who is the only one paying attention to you at the moment.
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