Mixed messages!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Mixed messages!
1
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 8:42am

Hi everyone,
I dated a wonderful guy for 5months now. About a week ago we had very serious issue (misunderstanding) he got the impression that I don't say very much about what I want on the future, I did say some I felt to early to talk about crazy ideas I have in my mind. Maybe it is wrong not talking about it but I did it any way. As a reason he was very distant I was curious to find out what is going on through his head. He told me he have mixed feeling for me. I wonder what is that mean? Is he not interested anymore or what?

Any advice please?
Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 12:49pm

Perhaps his mixed feelings are coming from his not understanding what YOU feel about him at this stage of your dating. If he has observed verbally to you that he feels you don't talk much about the future (and I'm assuming this includes your future together), then perhaps a good part of him is serious about you that he is willing to talk about it. If you don't feel like talking about the future at this stage, then that's fine. You need to be upfront with him about what YOU feel regarding this relationship. I don't think he is not interested anymore, he just probably is not sure where he stands exactly as far as all this is concerned. And he probably just doesn't want to invest too much more if he doesn't think you are serious enough about this relationship, or that you are not on the same level as he is, or he's willing to be. If you haven't, you two need to talk on a deeper level about your wants and needs regarding this relationship. Find out more about what his expectations are, and share what your expectations are as well. Then you can both decide how you want to take the relationship from there, and what kind of compromises you two are willing to do, to make this relationship work.

AM