mixed signals

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
mixed signals
4
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 10:55pm
A guy and I have been flirting for a while. When I met him I had a boyfriend, and told him so. He asked some questions about the relationship. He asked me if I go to visit my bf at his college, how long we've been dating, if we talk on the phone a lot, etc. And then we moved onto another topic. What does it mean when a guy that you can tell is into you asks about your relationship?

It's been a couple months since my bf and I broke-up, and I'm interested in dating this guy. We've hung out a couple of times, and get along really well. We laugh a lot, and flirt a lot. I've been getting some mixed signals from him. He sounded interested in seeing me (one-on-one), but was kinda sketchy returning my emails. It usually took him over a week to respond to the several emails we exchanged trying to set something up. He apologized when I asked about, citing he's been busy and was sincerely sorry. Each time I got one he sounded really excited. I had to go on a trip and then I was going to be in his town to visit a friend. (The guy I like lives an hour and a half away). So, I wouldn't be able to check my email to see if the date I was going to be in town would work for him. Therefore, I left my number at the end of the email asking him to call me. And I never heard from him...I'm very confused. He may not know I'm single cause he really has no way of knowing except if I told him. How do I tell him I'm single? And why didn't he call?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 3:31am
Email is an easy way to avoid. People will make excuses etc.... poor communication. It has to be visual or phone contact, nothing less.

Him questioning your relationship is letting him know if he has a chance with you.

You need to tell him your single. You have not told him so he's actually confused. To him, you have a bf and he doesnt have a chance so in his mind "why bother". Nobody likes being on the rebound and settling for 2nd place

You say you broke up with the x 2 months ago. 2 months is not a long time. How long were you with him. Technically, this new guy is on the rebound. Dont just hop from relationship to relationship. It'll mess with your head, and you wont know who you are

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 9:08am
my x and I had dated for 3 months before the first time we broke up, it was an on again off again mess for the next couple months. It was mainly becuase i had already agreed to go to a major school function with him, and his relatives were all coming to town and excited to meet me cause his parents loooooved me. So, technically the break-up started in february.

How do I tell this guy i'm now single? Do I just come out an say it? Cause I don't think he'll wanna hang out till he knows i'm single....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 11:19am
Women have a tendency of not being direct, and this is what your doing. No offense

If you dont want to tell him your single directly

Why not ask him out on a date? You'll get your answer then

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 11:39am
You could slip in a line like, "...and when my bf and I broke up..." during a conversation with him. Or be more direct and ask him out on a date. I know it's hard to get the *guts* up to open up to someone. You could say it in an email, but I would say it would be better coming directly from you. The worst he can say is no, right? Then you would be able to find someone else.

Good luck

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