mixed signals

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
mixed signals
24
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 4:15pm

Ok first off I'd like to say im male. I noticed that the boards are filled with advice for women, but I thought i'd ask in here since I need a female's perspective.

I was playing basketball at a gym back in september when I noticed this girl come in and start playing basketball with us. I was floored the moment I saw her, and told myself that I had to talk to her. I am a very shy guy so I normally do not just go up to anyone and start talking to them...not even other guys. (im not bi-sexual, im straight, im just saying...im not very outgoing). So I talked to her and she turned out to be really nice. I began to run into her at the basketball court at the gym about 1-2 times every month on tuesdays and thursdays. Each time I ran into her, she always was the one to come up to me and say hi and start the conversation. I took this as a good sign, and decided to take the opportunity to get to know her better each time I ran into her. She graduated high school about 2 years, so i think that would make her 20 turning 21. She is taking 17 units at a community college. We are both studying to be nurses. She's caucasian, and knows a few things about my ethnicity (im filipino) and i think she has a filipino friend. She's very friendly, and never made me feel like she wanted to end any of the conversations I had with her. One thing I noticed was that she would always dart out of the gym at 7:30 without saying or waving bye. She'd just be gone. Last week, on tuesday before thanksgiving, I ran into her again and felt that it was time to see if I could invite her to a Lakers basketball game. She didn't even hesitate to say yes. At the gym there is always a basketball game going, and right after she said yes, the next game at the gym was starting and I was up next to play so I had to get in the game without getting a chance to get her number. By this time it was already 7:25 and I knew she was getting ready to leave. The game ended and she was still there! She came up to me and started talking to me and I had the feeling that I should probably ask for her number. So I did and she gave it to me. (She probably noticed my hands shaking as I was writing her number down) She then says she's tired and she has to go (wow she actually is saying bye this time). I told her I was leaving as well and so i walk out with her. Stupid me says, "Well I know you're a busy person, what would be a good time to call you?" and she just shrugs as if she wanted to say that she's always busy and anytime would be as good as the next. Then I say "How about I just send you a text message?" and she says "I don't get a text messaging plan until december 2nd". I pause and say "do you have myspace?" and she tells me how to find her on myspace and we both go our own ways. The next day comes along and I decide not to send her a message on myspace yet because I didn't want to seem desperate. Thursday comes along and its Thanksgiving and didn't think it was a good idea. Friday....my birthday. So I decide to send her this message on Saturday afternoon:

"Hey Zoe! Sorry it took a while...this week's been so busy for me with my finals, Thanksgiving, and my birthday. How was your Thanksgiving? Anyway, here are the upcoming Laker games that I can go to:

Tuesday 11/27 @ 7:30pm vs Seattle Sonics
Thursday 11/29 @ 7:30pm vs Denver Nuggets
Sunday 12/02 @ 6:30pm vs Orlando Magic

Let me know if any of these games will work with your schedule.

-Chris"

She doesn't reply to my message until tuesday 11/27 @ around 6pm. This is what she says:

"oh my gosh, im sorry that i took so long to respond. Actually, i dont think i can make any of those games. i have class thursday and my friend from out of town is coming in this saturday. but i appreciate the offer. I will talk to soon. zoe"

I don't understand how she came from seeming very interested in me and accepting my invitation to saying "but i appreciate the offer". I forgot to mention that I just turned 27. She didn't know my age until she saw my myspace which has my age posted at the top. What should I do now? Should I reply to her message? Should I try inviting her to a later game? Should I put the ball on her court and tell her to let me know if she still wants to go to a game and let me know when she's free to go to one. Or should I not reply to her message, and if she's interested she will eventually send me a message.

I want you guys to understand that I am a very shy person, and I rarely get the courage to talk to a girl. I'm not the typical guy who just wants to get into a girl's pants. Honestly, that's the least of my concern. I've had 3 girlfriends and all of them were long term relationships. I'm into quality, not quantity. I waited 2 months and took my time before I asked Zoe to do something outside of the gym. I really like this girl. She's not the "hot" girl who's self centered and too full of her self. She's the type that you would take home to meet your mom. I know I screwed up. I should have just taken her phone number, and just called her the next day. If she didn't pick up because she was busy, I should have left her a voicemail. But I'm not going to cry over spilled milk. If I still have the slightest chance with this girl, I want to know what I need to do to get there. So please help!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2007
In reply to: chris2376
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 9:25pm
Why call her again?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
In reply to: chris2376
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 1:28am
She responded, but she couldn't make any of the days I invited her to because of class and a friend coming to visit from out of town. I'm going to call her on monday and see if she wants to grab coffee or some lunch sometime during the week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
In reply to: chris2376
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 1:29am
...because I really like her from what i've seen so far. And it doesn't hurt to try, i've got nothing to lose, and a date with her to gain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2007
In reply to: chris2376
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 1:56am
That's true, but haven't u asked her out a couple of times already?

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