mixed signals
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| Wed, 11-28-2007 - 4:15pm |
Ok first off I'd like to say im male. I noticed that the boards are filled with advice for women, but I thought i'd ask in here since I need a female's perspective.
I was playing basketball at a gym back in september when I noticed this girl come in and start playing basketball with us. I was floored the moment I saw her, and told myself that I had to talk to her. I am a very shy guy so I normally do not just go up to anyone and start talking to them...not even other guys. (im not bi-sexual, im straight, im just saying...im not very outgoing). So I talked to her and she turned out to be really nice. I began to run into her at the basketball court at the gym about 1-2 times every month on tuesdays and thursdays. Each time I ran into her, she always was the one to come up to me and say hi and start the conversation. I took this as a good sign, and decided to take the opportunity to get to know her better each time I ran into her. She graduated high school about 2 years, so i think that would make her 20 turning 21. She is taking 17 units at a community college. We are both studying to be nurses. She's caucasian, and knows a few things about my ethnicity (im filipino) and i think she has a filipino friend. She's very friendly, and never made me feel like she wanted to end any of the conversations I had with her. One thing I noticed was that she would always dart out of the gym at 7:30 without saying or waving bye. She'd just be gone. Last week, on tuesday before thanksgiving, I ran into her again and felt that it was time to see if I could invite her to a Lakers basketball game. She didn't even hesitate to say yes. At the gym there is always a basketball game going, and right after she said yes, the next game at the gym was starting and I was up next to play so I had to get in the game without getting a chance to get her number. By this time it was already 7:25 and I knew she was getting ready to leave. The game ended and she was still there! She came up to me and started talking to me and I had the feeling that I should probably ask for her number. So I did and she gave it to me. (She probably noticed my hands shaking as I was writing her number down) She then says she's tired and she has to go (wow she actually is saying bye this time). I told her I was leaving as well and so i walk out with her. Stupid me says, "Well I know you're a busy person, what would be a good time to call you?" and she just shrugs as if she wanted to say that she's always busy and anytime would be as good as the next. Then I say "How about I just send you a text message?" and she says "I don't get a text messaging plan until december 2nd". I pause and say "do you have myspace?" and she tells me how to find her on myspace and we both go our own ways. The next day comes along and I decide not to send her a message on myspace yet because I didn't want to seem desperate. Thursday comes along and its Thanksgiving and didn't think it was a good idea. Friday....my birthday. So I decide to send her this message on Saturday afternoon:
"Hey Zoe! Sorry it took a while...this week's been so busy for me with my finals, Thanksgiving, and my birthday. How was your Thanksgiving? Anyway, here are the upcoming Laker games that I can go to:
Tuesday 11/27 @ 7:30pm vs Seattle Sonics
Thursday 11/29 @ 7:30pm vs Denver Nuggets
Sunday 12/02 @ 6:30pm vs Orlando Magic
Let me know if any of these games will work with your schedule.
-Chris"
She doesn't reply to my message until tuesday 11/27 @ around 6pm. This is what she says:
"oh my gosh, im sorry that i took so long to respond. Actually, i dont think i can make any of those games. i have class thursday and my friend from out of town is coming in this saturday. but i appreciate the offer. I will talk to soon. zoe"
I don't understand how she came from seeming very interested in me and accepting my invitation to saying "but i appreciate the offer". I forgot to mention that I just turned 27. She didn't know my age until she saw my myspace which has my age posted at the top. What should I do now? Should I reply to her message? Should I try inviting her to a later game? Should I put the ball on her court and tell her to let me know if she still wants to go to a game and let me know when she's free to go to one. Or should I not reply to her message, and if she's interested she will eventually send me a message.
I want you guys to understand that I am a very shy person, and I rarely get the courage to talk to a girl. I'm not the typical guy who just wants to get into a girl's pants. Honestly, that's the least of my concern. I've had 3 girlfriends and all of them were long term relationships. I'm into quality, not quantity. I waited 2 months and took my time before I asked Zoe to do something outside of the gym. I really like this girl. She's not the "hot" girl who's self centered and too full of her self. She's the type that you would take home to meet your mom. I know I screwed up. I should have just taken her phone number, and just called her the next day. If she didn't pick up because she was busy, I should have left her a voicemail. But I'm not going to cry over spilled milk. If I still have the slightest chance with this girl, I want to know what I need to do to get there. So please help!

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