Mixed Signals -- Is He Interested?
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Mixed Signals -- Is He Interested?
| Wed, 09-22-2004 - 2:46pm |
I've had a very flirtatious friendship with my creative mentor for about 9 months. We see each other about once a week, and we often get into very fun, flirty conversations that last until very late at night. We've been to some parties together, and at the last one, we shared a very spontaneous, very affectionate hug that lasted longer than just a goodbye hug. Our conversations often include funny, sexual content, and we both laugh a lot. I've heard that he lives with a long-time girlfriend, but I have never ever seen her in the 9 months I've known him, and I know that he has lived away from her in another state for a couple of months due to work obligations. He also spends many late nights away from her ('cause that's when I see him). We always make eyes at each other, and he always comes right up to me and talks with me for a long time. I don't necessarily want a relationship with him, or to break up the one he has going...But I am deeply attracted to him, I get the impression he's attracted to me, and I'd like to have a fling. Bad, I know. How do I set things off (please don't say, "don't bother.") I just want to know suggestions for letting him know that I'm interested in a kiss or three.

He may be a very flirtatious person, but have NO intentions on cheating. I know a lot of people like that. They feel *safe* to flirt, because they feel no obligation to the person they are flirting with.
On the other hand, he could be a cheater, and is that really the kind of person you want to spend time with? Sure, YOU would be having a good time, but for how long? You might get emotionally involved. And not to mention how the other woman feels. And if you do get attached to him, he would have no reason to break up with the other woman for you, if you start something on the terms you're describing. And if he did, who's to say he wouldn't cheat on you?
If you're truly interested in this man, you can let him know that you are. Just be honest with him and see what he says.
I would just be careful about starting something if he's otherwise attached. But if that's what you REALLY want to do, you're going to do it. Just guard your heart.
Alison.
oh and another thing. i know some guys lie about having a gf, but asking him straight out will produce a more accurate response than a rumor. Be careful, i can't stress how important it is to know whether or not he does. cause it would be atrocious to ruin someone's long-term relationship, regardless if it's long distance, cause you were horny and wanted to have a fling. be careful.
-Rosie
I'm a terrible person. I DON'T want to break up his relationship. I don't want to marry him...I'm just hot for him and want the crush to go away. If I somehow "got him," or at least got confirmation that my instincts were right, I think I'd be over it. Terrible, I know. Why does attraction make us do such selfish things? I haven't done anything, but I want to, and I thought I was better than this before he came along...
Edited 9/22/2004 4:54 pm ET ET by babyfacejones
First, I agree that you should find out from the source whether he is involved with anyone.
Start
Check his schedule, get a hotel room, give him the key - when he arrives, be naked.
You're not looking to date, to be seen around, to get to know one another past this "i want you" attraction, to be anything but flirtatious in order to get to sex....so go for it.
He might turn you down, or not show up at the roomm - if flirtation as an ego boost is all he was after.
But if he wants more and realizes by honest direct communication that you know he has a girlfriend, that you know that every time you meet to have sex there are no guarantees of repeat performances, and that everything will be structured around his schedule and needs - he will have no problem.
Erin
quickblade142hotmail.com
hes just not that into you