Mixed Signals(M)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Mixed Signals(M)
4
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 2:33pm


There's this guy that I'm interested in at work. I'm pretty

sure that he's interested too. Because, we take our breaks

together and the other night he walked me out of the store

and watched me walk to my car to make sure I was alright.

He always hugs me. And he's asked me to go out several times.

The thing is. It's not happened yet. When we talk he's all

into it. He's kind of shy.

I told him that when he doesn't act on his words it looks bad

and it makes me upset and my friend's not like him. He said

that he's not that type of guy. And that he wants my friend's

to like him. But, they don't like him. Because, he's not stuck

to his word by taking me out. I haven't told him how much I

like him. And he's asked me three times if I want to go out as

boyfriend/girlfriend or friends? And acts all serious and smiles

and everything. I don't know what to do. Do I let him know how I

feel? Yes, I want to be his girlfriend. I'm just scared because,

my last boyfriend treated me bad. And he knows that.

The guy at work said that we'd take it slow and be friends and see

how it goes. But, then he's mentioned being boyfriend/girlfriend and

I havent' mentioned that. Do you think he's waiting on an answer from

me? My friend said that I should let him know how I feel and tell him

that I would like to be his girlfriend. What do you all think I should

do???

Avatar for macgyver17
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 2:50pm
I think you go out on a date before you just decide to be boyfriend/girlfriend.

Why don't YOU ask him out and go from there. You said that he has asked you out several times already, but then you said he didn't..so I am confused.

Both you need to stop beating around the bush and make a date. This is the millenium, so show empowerment!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 2:58pm
First of all it's between you and him, not him and your friends, so keep them out of it. You shouldn't be telling him what your friends say, since it's not them who would be dating the guy. You're only going to turn him off if all he hears is, "my friends think you suck".

So why haven't you two done anything? If he's mentioned he'd like to go out, take him up on it. Tell him when you're free to go out. Ask him what time he's picking you up. Invite him to hang out with you somewhere with you.

But the biggest thing is to come out and tell him you are interested. You can't beat around the bush, some guys are too dense to pick up the clues we think we're sending.

Good luck,

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 3:32pm


Thanks, alison,

I was just thinking that actually.That I'm off tonight and he

works. But, he goes in work an hour early and I may go talk to

him. *sheeplishly grinning* I haven't got his number. He has

my number. He told me he doesn't like talking on the phone

much. Plus, he's got some personal problems. which he's told

me about in trusting me. That maybe why he hasn't had the time

to take me out. Plus, he doesn't have the extra money right now.

And he wants to take me out when he has the money to take me

out.



That could possibly be why he hasn't taken me out yet. But, there

are still cheap things we could do right? Any ideas on cheap dates?

lol. I just want to let him know that I want to spend time with him

and get to know him outside of work. P.S. we both just got out of

a relationship about three months ago. So, that could also be why

he's hesitante about taking me out?.. hmmm. I just thought of that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 6:02pm
Invite him to go for a walk, that's free. Get him out and doing something, you don't want to just hang out watching tv. Meet him for a coffee, they're cheap- and you can pay for yourself if he's tight with money. Going out and doing something doesn't have to cost anything. Just sitting on a park bench and getting to know each other is a lot better than a $50.00 meal.

I just caution you on spending too much time waiting around for him.

If you mention a few cheap things to do and he still doesn't set a time to do something, then he's just beating around the bush and not really serious about seeing you. Sometimes people just want someone they can feel *safe* with to flirt with. Make sense?

So if after this time in two weeks you two haven't done anything outside work, then find someone else to take you out.

Alison

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