mixed signels
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mixed signels
| Tue, 03-06-2007 - 5:22pm |
Hi I have known this guy for 8 months now and really
like him a lot, he knows that I like him. We have
gone out a few times and we have also been intimate a
few times. He tells me that he doesn't want anything
serious and I told him I respected that and so we have
continued to be friends with benefits. He told me
once that I wouldn't want him as he does nothing but
work and that no matter how hard he tries to have
feelings for someone else it just isn't there and that
he still loves his ex wife he has been divorced for I
think two years and she is remarried he was really
hurt by her. what the problem is, is that he only
wants to see me every couple of months and that is all
we pretty much talk or get together. A while back he
saw me with another man and he made it a point to say
hello to me then a couple days later I got a text
message from him saying " how was your hot date the
other nite" in which I replied that he was just a
friend. Over a month passed and then he asked me out
to supper and to go play pool etc so I agreed and we
do seem to have a great time when we are together,
during supper he brought it up again and said " so
whats up with this new man and you" I once again said
he was just a friend and then he wanted to know what
he does and where he was from and how I met him etc,
then he mentioned again about seeing us together.
After supper we went and played pool where he saw some
of his friends and one of them was saying something
about not having a girlfriend and he told his friend
thats good keep it that way single is the only way to
be. He has profiles on dating sites that says he is
looking for a serious relationship but yet he tells me
he doesn't want to be serious with anyone. I know he
hasn't been going to the sites though as he doesn't
have internet right now and we are on some of the same
sites. so my real question is this: Why was he
acting so jealous and wondering about this other man
he saw me with if he doesn't want to be with me? When
he left my house the other nite he made the comment
well see you again in a couple of months but then said
we will do this again soon. I don't get it should I
keep dating other men? I have seen him with another
woman before and never questioned him about it. My
head says forget him but my heart says no.

If you are looking for a friend with benefits scenario this guy is idea. My guess is that even though this man is not looking for a relationship with you he still can be a little jealous.
It sounds like he wants to see you every few months, take you out, and then have sex. If you want more from a man it is time to move on.
There's no mixed signals, he told you he does not want anything serious and is showing you through his actions as well. Why did he get jealous? Ego. Even though you are not his, his ego does not want t to know that someone else is treading on his territory.
What happens next is up to you. He has been clear about what he wants--something very casual based upon his schedule. The thing to ask yourself is what do you really want? If you want a relationship, this is not the guy for you. If you are ok with just an FWB situation, then remain friends with him but be sure to not allow your feelings to grow otherwise your predicament will become worse.
Good luck with this one...
i don't get the impression his mention and questions regarding the other guy was a sign hes jealous...in fact, i get the feeling it was quite the opposite and he was perhaps feeling you out to insure you have a full life without him and hes not at risk you might be falling for him...the few times i've had casual dating experiences, where i was not interested in the man for anything serious, i was comforted to know he was dating other women and thus not pining for me.
just my $.02.
honey
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He is either using this as a ploy to get dates (maybe he's afraid if he says he wants casual dates only, he won't meet as many women), or, like you said below, he wants to be in a relationship, but not with you.
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