More than friends?
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More than friends?
| Wed, 07-21-2004 - 10:12pm |
Sorry, very long!
I’ve like this guy for a couple years now. We first met at college and hit it off right from the beginning, we’ve been great friends ever since and I consider him one of my best friends. BUT, I fell for him the day I met him and I’ve been debating our relationship since. I'm very shy (a chicken my friends like to call me) and I can't tell him that I like him. How do I know if we are just friends or if he likes me as something more? Sometimes I really think he likes me while other times it feels like we're just friends. Sometimes I wonder if he is the type of person who does not like doing things alone and that is why he Always asks (and even assumes) that I'll do everything with him from working on an event or project to taking a certain class together. I know I should talk to him but I won't, I can't, not anymore. How do I know? How can I tell if he wants to be more than friends?
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to read him. How do I know if a friend likes me as more than a friend or if he just thinks of us as friends or maybe even likes our friendship with benefits (nothing physical). He has made comments about what classes WE are going to take (or should) and an internship he’s doing that I should too. He’s told people things that we’d help with or do without even asking me, it’s like he just expects me to do everything with him. As much as I want to, I feel that I can’t keep doing this, not if we’re nothing more than friends. Not that it’s bad, but I have honestly felt like I was his girlfriend and if I’m not, I just can’t dedicate my life to his like that. A friend of mine did comment once that we sounded like a married couple, it just feels like we’re already together – but I’m not getting those benefits! He doesn’t even remember or at least he didn’t give me anything for my birthday. I’m afraid that he’s comfortable where he’s at – he likes being single and sometimes I wonder if he’s actually thinking about the future as he comments about when I’ll graduate, how I should not double major, and other things or if he’s just being funny, or maybe it’s just about him – having a friend with him in his classes…. When he was sick, I was the person he turned to. Is it just that I’ll always do anything he needs and wants…???
And yes, we have gone out for supper together and watched a movie. Heck, he’d probably even go to the theater with me if I asked him. I think he enjoys getting out and doing things. Friends of mine have told me to do this, but we have, as friends - what makes it different?
This whole situation has put me through a lot. Sometimes I'm good and not focused on him but when we spend time together I fall right back into thinking about him constantly and I re-analyze our situation! I need help very very bad!!! My professor even knows I like him, she told me one day when we were talking that she thinks I'm madly in love with this friend of mine, she said she can see it in my puppy love eyes when I look at him and a friend of mine agrees. HELP! I really appreciate your advice!
I’ve like this guy for a couple years now. We first met at college and hit it off right from the beginning, we’ve been great friends ever since and I consider him one of my best friends. BUT, I fell for him the day I met him and I’ve been debating our relationship since. I'm very shy (a chicken my friends like to call me) and I can't tell him that I like him. How do I know if we are just friends or if he likes me as something more? Sometimes I really think he likes me while other times it feels like we're just friends. Sometimes I wonder if he is the type of person who does not like doing things alone and that is why he Always asks (and even assumes) that I'll do everything with him from working on an event or project to taking a certain class together. I know I should talk to him but I won't, I can't, not anymore. How do I know? How can I tell if he wants to be more than friends?
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to read him. How do I know if a friend likes me as more than a friend or if he just thinks of us as friends or maybe even likes our friendship with benefits (nothing physical). He has made comments about what classes WE are going to take (or should) and an internship he’s doing that I should too. He’s told people things that we’d help with or do without even asking me, it’s like he just expects me to do everything with him. As much as I want to, I feel that I can’t keep doing this, not if we’re nothing more than friends. Not that it’s bad, but I have honestly felt like I was his girlfriend and if I’m not, I just can’t dedicate my life to his like that. A friend of mine did comment once that we sounded like a married couple, it just feels like we’re already together – but I’m not getting those benefits! He doesn’t even remember or at least he didn’t give me anything for my birthday. I’m afraid that he’s comfortable where he’s at – he likes being single and sometimes I wonder if he’s actually thinking about the future as he comments about when I’ll graduate, how I should not double major, and other things or if he’s just being funny, or maybe it’s just about him – having a friend with him in his classes…. When he was sick, I was the person he turned to. Is it just that I’ll always do anything he needs and wants…???
And yes, we have gone out for supper together and watched a movie. Heck, he’d probably even go to the theater with me if I asked him. I think he enjoys getting out and doing things. Friends of mine have told me to do this, but we have, as friends - what makes it different?
This whole situation has put me through a lot. Sometimes I'm good and not focused on him but when we spend time together I fall right back into thinking about him constantly and I re-analyze our situation! I need help very very bad!!! My professor even knows I like him, she told me one day when we were talking that she thinks I'm madly in love with this friend of mine, she said she can see it in my puppy love eyes when I look at him and a friend of mine agrees. HELP! I really appreciate your advice!
Signatures On
| Thu, 07-22-2004 - 11:37am |
You're at a point in this thing with him where you have to take the risk. Can you really spend any more time wondering and hoping? Don't you need to know once and for all if there's a chance of more between you two? Isn't it better to know he's interested or even no, he isn't, but to know and to move ahead to the next step, dating or getting over him? How much longer can you put your life on hold?? Be strong and dare to find out.
