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| Sun, 01-15-2006 - 5:30pm |
Hi all,
I had written before about this party, where we exchanged glances all evening. I came to know later he has a GF! :-( But I couldn't get him out of my mind. Well, all I can imagine now is being casual and friendly. But the attraction is undeniable.
Just on a lark, I looked up the local phone directory, and found a number n address!
After much deliberation......and also, on an impulse, this morning, I dialled the number.
I was soooooooo nervous!
I spoke to him! But it was soo embarrassing....coz when I gave him some clues about me...and said we had seen each other that night at the party, he said he couldn't remember!! I wanted to be swallowed by the ground at that time! :-)) I mentioned "pictures" and the next thing he says is why don't I send him a picture from that night, and he gave me his e-mail address! I immediately sent him my pic, and he said "Yes, now I remember". well, thank god! :-)) I wonder if he really did not remember when he said he did not.
There were some very awkward silences....on the phone. He would ask "what else" now and then, and I would laugh softly n nervously. I just felt shy. We exchanged some background information about each other. He was aking me questions about me, which I am glad he did. Then someone called his name in the background (he lives with his brother) and I said after a while "do you need to go?" and he said "kinda". I said "feel free to call me anytime u wish. u have my number." i am glad in a way that he did not just say it right out that he needs to go. (or maybe i am reading too much).
After that phone call, I wrote him a super short email saying it was nice talking to him.
His response within minutes: an email, an automated messenger invite from him, for online talks. (no personal message)
What does this mean...?
Is this a sureshot sign of interest?
Is he being just polite, or does this look like more?
What do you think he thought when I called....
Did he think I was crazy...? or over-eager? (guys, do you think that i showed too much eagerness?)
(i did try my best to sound very casual....but I wonder if I gave off another vibe unknowingly).
Any input would help.....
I am scared. He has a GF :-(
How should I proceed henceforth.
Withdraw a little?
Not talk often?
Ofcourse, it would all also depend on whether he does like me to begin with, even if it is as a "friend".

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(Playing Devil's Advocate here. Don't mind..)
Is it possible he really is Very serious about his GF, but is Totally CLUELESS & Innocent about what might be going on HERE. I mean, perhaps all he is looking at is having a Good Friend? And maybe he can't think further than that? Maybe he feels no chemistry with me At All? So in that light, perhaps, him and me "meeting up" is not a bad thing? Isn't a BF allowed to make new friends? And it so happens, his GF is out of town. Maybe it is just a coincidence....that this happened in her absence. And then, he did tell me that he told her about me.
If I had talked to him WHILE his GF was in town, we might have been THREE people at lunch today. He would have brought his GF with him.
How can I even tell if he feels "attracted" to me? All he has shown is an "interest". (Which could be interpreted in a number of ways, unfortunately).
Either, the rest isn't there to begin with, or is well hidden. Can't tell....
Yeah....i certainly do want to move on...
I don't see hope here, regardless of his "interest".
It's not going to happen...
It's a dead end.
I am late as always :-))
PS: Long time ago, a similar thing had happened. I had to watch the guy I liked dearly and had feelings for, pair up with his long time GF. He had said to me-"Wish you had come earlier".
We all know how it feels to meet someone that makes your heart race and get butterflies in your stomach and we all know that feeling is very rare. I think you just wanted to make sure you didn't regret not doing anything about it, as least you can say you did do something about it, but sadly the outcome wasn't what you wanted.
The future is ALWAYS filled with surprises and also things happen for a reason, so you never know ;)
Couldn't agree more. Thanks yaddie..that's right.
Atleast I will not have any regrets later. I went as far as I could and should. A meal together with a totally cute guy! What else can I ask for? :-) I am thankful.
And yes, you are right, things sometimes do happen for a reason....and the future can be full of surprises.
:-)
What I don't see in this scenario is him asking what YOU want from this. You called him hoping for romance, that isn't going to happen because this man has a girlfriend. He's decided that you are going to be his new best buddy. I assume you don't really have time to be this man's new best buddy because you are looking for a boyfriend.
Look, you did great. You found a guy you liked, approached him successfully and even had a wonderful lunch. Please take that excellent skillset and get back out there to get yourself exactly what you want, a great guy who is available.
Being this guy's best buddy will get you nowhere. I can just imagine what is going to happen when this man proudly tells girlfriend that a strange lady called him and he took her to lunch.
Onward and upward.
Hi Chamey, you got that right....
You are right. I AM looking for a guy I can get to know more for a possible future together. Which, with him, isn't possible. Yes, friends are great, and I do need good friends, but then, if I am spending all my time with HIM, then I am using up this time in the wrong place! I realize that. He has, since that lunch date, called me twice yesterday just to chat. And then he suggested we meet again today. It does look like he is looking at me as a new friend he can hang out with. He lives minutes away from my place so that makes it convenient for us. His GF lives around here as well. She will be returning in a day or two. I am happy we clicked as casual friends, but uptil now, he has never asked me clearly what I want. Why I took the initiative to call him. I am assuming he knows already, and perhaps wants to evade a sensitive issue. He is not mentioning the topic at all.
Hmm...
PS: I also asked him what exactly he told his GF. He said he told her that I called him and that we hung out. Well, I bet she will wonder why I called him to begin with? It is also possible that she might express her concern over our friendship because she might feel threatened, and might suspect that I secretly 'like' her BF. I wonder how this will all play out when she returns. I would hate to cause a discord between them. So I think I would just need to withdraw, and the rest, he has to do a good job explaining and reassuring her.
I'm sorry, but I'm sitting here shaking my head and thinking you have got to have some serious fear of commitment if you have a history
I make no apologies for it and stand by what
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