moved to fast to last?
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moved to fast to last?
| Wed, 09-07-2005 - 7:49am |
I have been seeing a guy for about 6 weeks now. It has moved very fast, but has felt right every step of the way. He has meet my daughter, but I have not meet his children. I have meet his friends and I don't think he has anything to hide.
I have been single for several years now. He is the first person I have felt any attraction to and wanted to see again after the first date. My ex played a lot of head games with me and it hasn't been till now that I have felt ready to jump into another relationship. And I have jumped - with both feet. Things have been amazing. He has been attentitive, affectionate, and talks often of future plans together. We just had a great weekend together which we actually made into a long extended weekend. We connected even more and talked a lot about things, really opened up. He more so then me. But something seems different in the last 24 hours. He cancelled plans and wasn't home when I called. I am getting a vibe that maybe things are not as great in his mind as he had led me to believe. Has it moved to fast for him...he always tells me it hasn't. I am worried that he is having second thoughts. Although we have been together such a short time it really seems like longer and I don't want this to end. My instincts tell me something is going on, but I do not know what it is.
I have been single for several years now. He is the first person I have felt any attraction to and wanted to see again after the first date. My ex played a lot of head games with me and it hasn't been till now that I have felt ready to jump into another relationship. And I have jumped - with both feet. Things have been amazing. He has been attentitive, affectionate, and talks often of future plans together. We just had a great weekend together which we actually made into a long extended weekend. We connected even more and talked a lot about things, really opened up. He more so then me. But something seems different in the last 24 hours. He cancelled plans and wasn't home when I called. I am getting a vibe that maybe things are not as great in his mind as he had led me to believe. Has it moved to fast for him...he always tells me it hasn't. I am worried that he is having second thoughts. Although we have been together such a short time it really seems like longer and I don't want this to end. My instincts tell me something is going on, but I do not know what it is.

Good luck! :)
This is pretty typical "commitmentphobe" behavior. There always seem to be a couple of major hurdles in relationships that really get to the commitmentphobe (and often even to people in general). One comes around 2-3 months where it is time to start thinking about REALLY being exclusive and moving toward a serious relationship. A lot of relationships end right around then. The second hurdle is 6-8 months where you have been in a serious relationship and the expectations start to move toward making this more permanent whether with a higher level of commitment, moving in together or even starting to talk about engagement. One year is another big one. It is so strange but you can almost time these things! Every relationship that I have had that didn't go longer than a year broke up at one of these stages and so many people I know have had the exact same experience.
Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do other than like what ginger said and keep yourself busy, be your own person and just take it one day at a time. It might work out, it might not. Good luck to both of you!