my boyfriend hates me

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
my boyfriend hates me
2
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 8:17am
I've been with my current boyfriend for two years, we also have a 15 month old son together. Over the past couple of months we've been fighting almost every day about the stupidest things, and our relationship has taken a nose dive. It doesn't matter how hard I try to make him happy, he always has something nasty to say about me. I feel like I'm trapped in this relationship because we have a child together. I don't know what to do anymore, in my heart I know I'd be better off without him but things are easier said than done. He's told me that if I left him, he'd never talk to me or his son again, and he'd also spread rumors about me, and believe me, I live in a small town. I know he's emotionally abusing me, making me think I can't make it without him, but how do I start thinking like "me" again where I've put up with this treatment for so long? He's at the point where I'm not sure if he hits my dog as soon as I leave just because he's mad at me. Please help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 10:17am

danielsmom20...

Are there no friends or family who can help you...and perhaps take you in (temporarily)?

You've got an issue with a man who clearly doesn't want you (or the child). Naturally, his defense mechanism is to make all kinds of threats and spread lots of rumors. Does this mean you have to take any of this?

How STRONG do you think you are? Are you willing to consult with a social worker, obtain the servicers of a lawyer, get assistance from a minister or a member of your church? There are probably several options available to you IF you want to make the effort.

Besides...

ANY MAN who would take out his hostility by kicking a dog...is pretty much an ANIMAL himself!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 11:44am

<<>

The only person you should be thinking about is that child. If the choice is to stay in an abusive home where his father is mean and belittles his mother or never having that father talk to him again, I think the choice would be the latter. At least in the latter you can bring more positive male influences into his life, whether it be grandfather, uncles, male cousins of yours. Who cares what rumors he spreads about you, that shouldn't be a concern at all. You have a child to protect, you are doing that child more harm by allowing this man to treat you in this manner.