My crazy ex husband freaked him out
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My crazy ex husband freaked him out
| Sun, 05-28-2006 - 4:37pm |
I am 28 years old, and I have been divorced from my husband of 6 years since Sept. 2005. While we have been divorced for several months now, I never fully cut all ties from him, which I'm sure is a big problem for me now. We kept in contact and also were intimate on numerous occasions. Once, I was even beginning to consider reconciliation, but all thoughts of that are now totally gone and there is no hope for us. I have officially cut all ties with him including no phones or any contact what-so-ever for about a month now.
Around this time, my sister set me up on a blind date with this really great guy or so I thought...Her husband and her along with me and my blind date all went out one night together. I was really hesitant about going, but figured I had nothing to loose. When I saw him I was immediately drawn to him. We both had a mutual physical attraction for each other. Dinner was great, and afterwards we all went back to my sister's place and watched a movie. We kissed good night and went our separate ways home. We saw each other the next night, and the following two nights and we became intimate. He had to go to military drill over the weekend, and when he returned we saw each other again, and this time at my house for the first time. Things were going great until my door bell rang and it was my ex. I told him to get lost and that it was none of his business who was at my house. He left, but come to find out he was watching from a close distance. When my new guy went home, my ex pulled out behind him and started following him down the road. My new guy pulled over at a gas station to see if my crazy ex would follow him there, and he drove on by. I spoke to him once he got home, and he told me what had happened. I apologized immensely to him and told him that I hoped it didn't freak him out and that I would handle the situation. He assured me everything was fine and it was no big deal and not to worry about it. He said he would call me tomorrow. I hung up the phone feeling relieved and wonderful that a horrible night ended on a good note. Well, tomorrow rolled around and there was no call. I tried calling him and left a message, but my call was never returned. I decided not to think the worse, but to see how the next day would be. Again, no call from him, so I called him again. I know, pretty stupid, but I couldn't understand why he would tell me one thing and do another after he said everything was fine. I could take his decision either way, but I wanted to at least know what decision he has come to! So, then, I got a little crazy and called again and left a message telling him that I guess what had happened had freaked him out, and that I was sorry. I told him how much I liked him and that I hope we could continue to see each other and get to know each other better. I asked him to please give me a call and let me know where we stood. After all we had really hit it off, and things were going great until the incident with my ex. I wanted to try anything I could to fix what my ex had destroyed. But as you may have guessed, still no call or anything at all. After driving by his house and even seeing him at home both times I did that, I concluded that he wanted nothing further to do with me because of my ex husband's baggage. I hate this happened, and I can't get this guy out of my head or understand why he never returned my calls even if it were to say that he wanted to stop seeing me. I have now somewhat moved on and have been seeing other people, but I still wish for closure from him. I want so much to give him a call and see if he will answer this time. I know I shouldn't even think about calling, but I would see him again if he did call or he wanted to see me. What should I do about this?????? Most guys call me all the time, but this one will not even return my calls which in a crazy way makes me like him more! Do you think there is a chance that he will call, and maybe he is just things out? He is 25, never been married and never had to deal with drama like that before. He is laid back and more of a home body. Please help! I am thick skinned so lay it on me! And this was the first guy I was with since my ex. Today, it has been a week since I last heard from him.
Around this time, my sister set me up on a blind date with this really great guy or so I thought...Her husband and her along with me and my blind date all went out one night together. I was really hesitant about going, but figured I had nothing to loose. When I saw him I was immediately drawn to him. We both had a mutual physical attraction for each other. Dinner was great, and afterwards we all went back to my sister's place and watched a movie. We kissed good night and went our separate ways home. We saw each other the next night, and the following two nights and we became intimate. He had to go to military drill over the weekend, and when he returned we saw each other again, and this time at my house for the first time. Things were going great until my door bell rang and it was my ex. I told him to get lost and that it was none of his business who was at my house. He left, but come to find out he was watching from a close distance. When my new guy went home, my ex pulled out behind him and started following him down the road. My new guy pulled over at a gas station to see if my crazy ex would follow him there, and he drove on by. I spoke to him once he got home, and he told me what had happened. I apologized immensely to him and told him that I hoped it didn't freak him out and that I would handle the situation. He assured me everything was fine and it was no big deal and not to worry about it. He said he would call me tomorrow. I hung up the phone feeling relieved and wonderful that a horrible night ended on a good note. Well, tomorrow rolled around and there was no call. I tried calling him and left a message, but my call was never returned. I decided not to think the worse, but to see how the next day would be. Again, no call from him, so I called him again. I know, pretty stupid, but I couldn't understand why he would tell me one thing and do another after he said everything was fine. I could take his decision either way, but I wanted to at least know what decision he has come to! So, then, I got a little crazy and called again and left a message telling him that I guess what had happened had freaked him out, and that I was sorry. I told him how much I liked him and that I hope we could continue to see each other and get to know each other better. I asked him to please give me a call and let me know where we stood. After all we had really hit it off, and things were going great until the incident with my ex. I wanted to try anything I could to fix what my ex had destroyed. But as you may have guessed, still no call or anything at all. After driving by his house and even seeing him at home both times I did that, I concluded that he wanted nothing further to do with me because of my ex husband's baggage. I hate this happened, and I can't get this guy out of my head or understand why he never returned my calls even if it were to say that he wanted to stop seeing me. I have now somewhat moved on and have been seeing other people, but I still wish for closure from him. I want so much to give him a call and see if he will answer this time. I know I shouldn't even think about calling, but I would see him again if he did call or he wanted to see me. What should I do about this?????? Most guys call me all the time, but this one will not even return my calls which in a crazy way makes me like him more! Do you think there is a chance that he will call, and maybe he is just things out? He is 25, never been married and never had to deal with drama like that before. He is laid back and more of a home body. Please help! I am thick skinned so lay it on me! And this was the first guy I was with since my ex. Today, it has been a week since I last heard from him.

I'm sorry, but I think you're just going to have to let this one go. Any additional attempts to get him to change his mind are just going to further convince him that your life is filled with drama, I'm afraid. So don't call him any more.
The only idea I have that might work is if you take legal measures to get your ex to leave you alone and your sister and/or her husband casually mention to this guy when they see him that you've taken care of it...but even then, he may just not want to get involved.
And no, it wasn't right of him at all to tell you he'd call and then not, but many men have problems being direct with women in that regard, so he's hardly alone in doing that type of thing. He would prefer to let his not calling you speak for itself...he's not interested.
Sheri
I agree with Sheri, let him go. Sometimes we don't get closure and just have to accept that. If a man was to continue to pursue, many women would be thinking clinging, needy, or worse... stalker. You have done all you can, feel good that you tried. More importantly, have you been able to deal with your x so this doesn't happen in the future?
Cheryl
Cheryl
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I say cut your losses. I wouldn't call either if I were that guy.
It seems as though you need to take care of the situation with your ex first before you date. I do know what to suggest to you other than a restraining order.