My ex-husband wants to try to get back..

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
My ex-husband wants to try to get back..
1
Sun, 06-27-2004 - 5:49pm
We were married for 9 years, we have 3 young children. During our seperation we were in counseling and I tried to show him that I loved him and wanted to get through our problems, be stronger than ever and move on. He had 4 affairs, during counseling we learned how his childhood days and his parents divorce while we were married made him turn away from me. I understood this in a psychological way and wanted to help him and be there for him. He was afraid, pushed me away, and hurt me. During counseling, he did not try or show remorse, he gave up. We divorced, the children and I moved 8 hours away to be closer to my family. He dated as well as myself. Now all of a sudden he wants to try to get back with me. He is wanting to go to counseling, he is wants to move here, he wants to make things right with me. We have talked and discussed this in some detail, we will not be doing this for the children but for ourselves.

Do people deserve a second chance? I would greatly appreciate any input.

Thanks
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-27-2004 - 7:37pm
I think saying he "wants to go to counseling" is completely and utterly lame, under the circumstances and given what he did to you. Tell him to call you when he's BEEN in counseling for at least a year, then you'll consider giving him a second chance.

Someone who is that lacking in remorse and integrity doesn't change without intense individual counseling.

Sheri