My friend just told me she has feelings for me, what should I do?

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Registered: 05-06-2013
My friend just told me she has feelings for me, what should I do?
3
Mon, 05-06-2013 - 8:06pm

I have a good group of friends I hang out with on weekends and we always have a great time! I usually hang out with my two guy friends and my one friend brings his girlfriend and her friends. I actually met everyone through my ex girlfriend so my ex was actually friends with the girls. I have been seperated from my ex girlfriend for almost 3 months now and I've moved on. She doesn't associate with anyone in the group of friends for other reasons.

The other night we were all out and having some drinks and I answered a call. The girls taganized me asking who is that as if it was another girl or something. It wasn't a girl but I noticed my one friend really start to kind of interrogate me in a humorous way who was I texting or talking to and I finally decided to text her and I said "maybe I am texting you!" She then replied "you're an idiot!" I asked why thining she was joking but she wouldn't tell me. So now we are having a text convo in front of everyone while I notice she get's a little serious. She keeps texting me saying you know why and stuff like that. I finally pull it out of her that she has feelings for me! I was very thrown back by this because I never knew this AT ALL! She said she told me one night months back at a bar but I couldn't recall because that was a night I had a serious fight with my ex and I was too caught up in that. She then proceeds to tell me that it doesn't matter cause I'm caught up with this girl I'm talking to and I used to talk to her friend from work a few months back but it never got serious. And her friend from work hangs out with all of us occassionally as well. This girl I was talking to we don't talk anymore since she is moving away for good in a few days and we weren't looking for anything serious. So now here is my situation and  some advice I need help on...

My friend who confessed this to me is down right beautiful and I always found her as a very attractive woman, I just never thought there would be feelings because i was with my ex for so long and that was her friend. Now that they're not friends and we're not together that doesn't seem to be a factor. I would like to see how things would go but its difficult because we really didn't get into too much serious convo about it and we aren't the type of friends to hang out without all our friends. And when I think about it she is almost everything I look for in a girl, and it's just crazy cause I have known her for so long and seen her date these guys that just weren't worth her time. And she told me she doesn't know why I put up with my ex's stuff for soo long either.

Should I pursue or hold back? And how do I bring up the convo in a decent manner without her thinking I'm trying to just be with her cause she likes me and convince her I would like for us to get closer?

any advice tips or opinions help!

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

 Go for it right away!  A good thing only come around once in a blue moon.  No matter what happens it will be better than regrets for not taking this opportunity.

dragowoman

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012

rymills2285 wrote:
<p>I have a good group of friends I hang out with on weekends and we always have a great time! I usually hang out with my two guy friends and my one friend brings his girlfriend and her friends. I actually met everyone through my ex girlfriend so my ex was actually friends with the girls. I have been seperated from my ex girlfriend for almost 3 months now and I've moved on. She doesn't associate with anyone in the group of friends for other reasons.</p><p>The other night we were all out and having some drinks and I answered a call. The girls taganized me asking who is that as if it was another girl or something. It wasn't a girl but I noticed my one friend really start to kind of interrogate me in a humorous way who was I texting or talking to and I finally decided to text her and I said "maybe I am texting you!" She then replied "you're an idiot!" I asked why thining she was joking but she wouldn't tell me. So now we are having a text convo in front of everyone while I notice she get's a little serious. She keeps texting me saying you know why and stuff like that. I finally pull it out of her that she has feelings for me! I was very thrown back by this because I never knew this AT ALL! She said she told me one night months back at a bar but I couldn't recall because that was a night I had a serious fight with my ex and I was too caught up in that. She then proceeds to tell me that it doesn't matter cause I'm caught up with this girl I'm talking to and I used to talk to her friend from work a few months back but it never got serious. And her friend from work hangs out with all of us occassionally as well. This girl I was talking to we don't talk anymore since she is moving away for good in a few days and we weren't looking for anything serious. So now here is my situation and  some advice I need help on...</p><p>My friend who confessed this to me is down right beautiful and I always found her as a very attractive woman, I just never thought there would be feelings because i was with my ex for so long and that was her friend. Now that they're not friends and we're not together that doesn't seem to be a factor. I would like to see how things would go but its difficult because we really didn't get into too much serious convo about it and we aren't the type of friends to hang out without all our friends. And when I think about it she is almost everything I look for in a girl, and it's just crazy cause I have known her for so long and seen her date these guys that just weren't worth her time. And she told me she doesn't know why I put up with my ex's stuff for soo long either.</p><p>Should I pursue or hold back? And how do I bring up the convo in a decent manner without her thinking I'm trying to just be with her cause she likes me and convince her I would like for us to get closer?</p><p>any advice tips or opinions help!</p>

Hold back if you want to see her get with some one who won't treat her as well as you will because that will happen.  Poop in one hand and wish in the other and see which fills up fastest. IOW, you'd better figure out something and quick before she's snapped up and you're left kicking rocks.

You bring it up by bringing it up and being serious about your intentions.  Put it to her, tell her your are serious and let her decide.  If she rebuffs you, then be done with her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Well it seems like you're attracted to her & you like her so what's the problem?  When I read the headline, I assumed your problem would be that your friend liked you but you didn't have romantic feelings for her.  so text her and ask her on a real date without all the other friend around.  When you are together, tell her that you would like to get to know her better and see if there is potential for a relationship.  Try taking things slow since you have a mutual group of friends and you don't want things to get awkward if something doesn't work out.  Don't try having sex with her on the 2nd date--treat her with respect.