My heart is broken and I'm so confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
My heart is broken and I'm so confused.
2
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 7:09pm
I recently called an old friend (my first love) that I had not spoken to or heard from in over 7 years but when he answered, I heard a child in the background, and I immediately hung up, as I figured he must be married now and didn't want to interfere with his life. Suprisingly, he called me back the next day. He said he got my number off of his Caller ID. We had a good talk and he told me he was married but not happy. He said he was close to filing for a divorce, that he just wasn't happy anymore. He insisted on seeing me. He called me over and over and told me he had always loved me and always would. Well, I did agree to see him. Things went really fast and before we knew it, we had slept together. It was beautiful to me, as I have always loved him and longed to be with him. I had dreamed of this day many times over the years. Unfortunately, shortly after this, his wife called and he just totally freaked out. He said he had to get home to her and apologized to me. Then, a few days passed and he called me and told me he was confused. He said that his child had gotten sick and he and his wife had taken her to the ER. He said he felt bad about seeing me and that he just couldn't stand the thought of losing his daughter. He said he couldn't see me again. He told me he cared for me and didn't want to hurt me but said he wanted to try to work things out with his wife and try to save his marriage. I was totally devastated. I thought he felt the same way about me that I did him. I told him good-bye and told him that I would always love him and that if he changed his mind about seeing me, to call me. Well, he hasn't called me. I've sent him a couple of text messages but he hasn't responded. My heart is broken again. I know I sound like a really bad person and I know what we did was wrong but I honestly never planned for things to turn out this way. Even though I know I should just leave him alone, I keep waiting on the phone to ring. Is it likely he will call me? What do I do? How do I get over the love of my life?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 8:19pm
This is unfortunately a call that you don't need to be looking for. You shouldn't worry whether he is going to call you. As far as what you should do... leave him alone. I know that this sounds extremely hard and not what you want to hear but it is for the best. You have to understand that he has other responsibilities in his life that he has to take care of. It is actually very admirable of him to say that he can't do this with you right now and that he wants to try and save his marriage. Honestly, you wouldn't feel happy or complete if this affair would continue. Even with all the feelings you have for him right now, eventually you wouldn't be able to take it anymore. Spare yourself a lot of extra heartache and don't contact him. If he contacts you, then you need to let him know that you can't be the "other woman". You never know what the future will bring either. If things don't get better in his marriage and he does get a divorce then you can evaluate the situation then. However, don't hold out for that day to come. The best thing you can do is move on and if you really do care about him, you need to let him deal with things as well. Most importantly you need to look out for yourself. Remember that you deserve the best and you should never settle for anything less than that. Best of Luck.

-amarie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 8:34pm
Thank you amarie. You are right. I think I knew this already but needed to hear someone else tell me. I will heed your advice and hope things will work out for the best for everyone. Thanks again!