My new guy told me is scared
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My new guy told me is scared
| Sun, 07-04-2004 - 2:59pm |
Two weeks ago I met a guy online. We're both in our early thirties, both have been single for two years and we are both single parents and seem to have everything in common. We were insperable for the first week. All his doing. He would ask me to come over every free moment I had. The physical attraction between us is unbelievable. Need I say more. Then he said something to me that I can not figure out and has left me a little concerned to say the least. He said that he can't stop thinking about me, he wants to be with me every minute, and that he is letting some things slide that he shouldn't. Like the gym. He isn't working now so work isn't an issue. He says it is moving too fast and he is scared. He did the pursuing, the calling, the "when can you come over next" type of thing and I just basically responded. He still calls every day and says he still wants to see me and that he was concerned that I was letting things slide with work by being with him so much. I was just having a slow week and taking advantage of it. We've slowed things down this second week. Now I'm terrifed that he is going to bail and I am going to get hurt yet again. Should I bail or take a chance.

I say to pull back and not be so available. I see red flags too when someone is so clingy. (I'm sure we're all guilty of it at some point) Plan on only seeing him once a week and wait before returning emails and phone calls. He wanted things to slow down, so you be in charge of that.
I would also say that you should keep dating others. You've only known this guy a short time and you do not owe him anything. A little caution never hurt.
Of course it's hard not to react to that (it's very flattering!), but the smart approach is to say "woah, there, we just met, let's take things slowly here". YOU have to be the one to put the brakes on and set the pace, and take every single word of future talk that comes out of his mouth with a HUGE grain of salt.
I think it's a good sign that he has realized so quickly that he set an unrealistic pace and unrealistic expectations. Personally, I'd slow things down to talking on the phone every other day or so, and seeing each other 1-2 times a week.
Sheri