my sister is with my now ex-boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
my sister is with my now ex-boyfriend
5
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 4:15pm
I was with this guy for 6 years. 1 1/2 years ago my younger sister started calling my boyfriend and asking him out. Well he went, I found out it was her. I was so disgusted with him and her. For 2 months he denied it to me about it being her. I finally said I don't believe you and didn't see him anymore. Now after 1 1/2 years they have been together, they are engaged. It makes me sick and my family definately doesn't approve. I don't talk to her anymore. He still calls me, wants to have sex with me, but he said he tells her he doesn't call me. I still can't get over how disgusted I feel. I think about how he touches her like he did me and things like that. Could you tell me what I should do to get over this pain I feel for him and my sister (that I hate)?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 4:56pm
You cant help who you love. It was really low of her to cross that line, but forgiving is divine, as they say. As for him, all I can say is eeeww, and thank god you didnt end up with him.

I would suggest calling her and saying somethign along the lines of 'you hurt me, and we have issues, but hear me out. He calles me all the time, and askes me to have sex with him. can you be with someone like that?'. If she doesnt beleive you, get call display, and show it to her when she calls. Maybe you hate her, or maybe you are just deeply hurt and covering it with anger becuase it easier (believe me, I do it all the time). If she wont listen to you, live your life knowing that

a)you are so much better of without him, and b)at least you tried to help her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 4:58pm
rpbprb...

It's pretty obvious that even though your EX-B/F let you go....YOU NEVER COMPLETELY RECIPROCATED! Now that Sis has him...and will probably end up in a similar situation after a few years...can't you just move forward??

You DON'T have to give them a wedding gift or even show up at the nuptials. He is going to be HER HEADACHE in a few years. Just be happy he's no longer YOURS!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2004
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 6:41pm
Sorry to say but if my sister or even anyone I knew and was close to did this to me .. I would forgive but they would be out of my life forever.. I dotn care if there family or not. They have both shown you disrespect. I would be sick to my stomach to.. I guess the best way would be to not be around them ever so you dont know what they are doin gor what is going on with them.. Gosh your story makes me sick to my stomach.. Seems like you cant trust anyone these days... Not even your family..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 9:12pm
Well I had a similar situation where my cousin was in the place of your sister with my ex. Of course having your own sister doing this is no question far worse and i'm so sorry you're going through this. I had the worst time overcoming all the pain I had thinking of them two together doing the things he and I did, all like you said. and I'm not going to lie when I say it took a while for me to get past it. but what worked for me was being with other people, my best friend and others, and everntually hanging out with other guys which made me think of being with other guys and looking at what they could offer. and I am so happy now that I didn't try to get him back and ruin my life with more of his lies or disrespect. In case you're wondering, my ex isn't seeing her anymore because she suspected him of cheating on her and he didn't seem to give a crap anyway, and he is now dating an 18 yr old (he is 29)who has a 2 year old daughter from a previous guy and he is now constantly taking care of her and her child. I think it's hilarious now, and am happy I didn't waste anymore time with a man who will obviously go nowhere and doesn't make wise decisions. (well he's not with me right?) You deserve better, it will take a while to overcome, but try what I say, it will no doubt help you if you stick with focusing else where and pity both of them because people like that usually end up making bad desicions for the rest of their lives, because they just can't change. Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 9:28pm
To get over this... think that you were lucky in getting rid of him and what your sister will go through when they marry...him being a dog and her miserable. Not a pretty picture.