My X-boyfriend wants me back?(M)
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My X-boyfriend wants me back?(M)
| Fri, 09-17-2004 - 2:25pm |
My ex-boyfriend wants to go back out with me. My parents aren't
too fond of him because, I let him borrow my car when it was in
my parents name. We've both grown up and matured since then. I was
the one who broke up with him because, my parents basically pressured
me too. I want to date him again. But, I don't know how to tell them.
I still live at home and I respect my parents. I'm 23 and he's almost 19.
When we first dated he was underage and I didn't know it. I was 21 and he
was 16. Is it legal for me to date him at this age? Do I give him another
chance? I care about him alot. We dated for six months. What do you all
think? I value any insight into this... Thanks in advance....
P.S. He is of age now. He's 19... And I've got my own car in my name
and he isn't going to touch it....

I think that you need to sit down and figure out what this man has to offer you. Do you really want to be with HIM or just be with SOMEONE and he's offering at this point? Since you are now 23, you're probably thinking about school, carreer, family, marraige and children. What do you want in a partner? Do you want someone short term or long term?
What can he bring to the table? What are his goals, his aspirations, his values, his dreams and his priorities? Does he work or is he in school? Is he responsible? I know he doesn't have a car, but would he contribute to the gas you use up driving him around? Would he take you out on dates, or just want to hang out and hook up? What's his motivation here?
You also need to see if what he is offering is truly what you are looking for in a man or just filling the void because you don't have any one else at this point.
Alison
Thanks Alison,
I guess I haven't thought about that. I really am lonely right now. I
guess that I need to work on myself more before I consider being in a
relationship right now. It's just so hard , going from being with someone
day in and day out. To being single again. My last boyfriend and I called
it quits in March. I don't know. Maybe I need a little more time to heal.?
I actually have met someone who feels all the above qualties that you've
mentioned. My Aunt wants us to date. And my friend's think that he's
perfect for me. He's my age. He's 23. He's a manager at a store. Has his
own car well, truck. Is shy , sweet and funny. He has a lot in common with
me. My friend's said I need to talk to him. To move on.
To get away from my past. And everyone says that he likes me and people have
even said he would be the perfect future husband for me. I guess I'm scared
to go out with this other guy. He sounds a little too perfect and I'm scared
of getting hurt. I think he even called me but, I missed his call. My Aunt
said that she would leave it up to us. That she wasn't going to butt in it
anymore. I'm scared to "make a move" on him. He's got all the qualities that
I want in a man. And it scares me because, I've never had a "good man"..
Do I have a fear of "good men"? Or a fear of getting hurt?
I'm starting to consider giving up dating for awhile. But, my friends and
family said I should make a move on this manager man. Before he gets
snatched up. I'm SO confused I don't know what to think....... I am also
thinking about children and marriage and buying a house. And even a summer
home. I have my families farm to take care of and I want someone who will
love being on the farm too. And he's a country boy too. His family also
lives on a farm. Anyways, I'm blabbing on... so, I 'll go now...
And about the other guy -- why not hang out with him? It sounds like you two have a lot of the same goals. If it doesn't work out, oh well.
I, personally, am never going to date someone that's four years my junior (in college years, that is) again because we're just in two different points in our life right now.
Good luck!