Need Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Need Advice
5
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 1:56am

I have been seeing this guy, B for two months. Recently, we have been having some problems and havent really been talking to much. I screwed up and have apologized for it. He accepted but I dont know where things stand. Until, my screw up, which was listening to a ex friends lies, we were a good couple. My problem is I dont know if we are still a couple and I havent been able to get ahold of him.

Tonight I got a call from "S" who I was seeing casually until I met B. S just called to see how I was doing and to see what was new. He didnt say anything about getting together or going on a date but I know he will ask when he calls next week. I dont want to lose B by seeing another guy but I also dont want to sit around waiting for a call from B that may never come.

When S asks me to hang out should I say yes or no?

I think that if B wants to be with me he will have to start pursuing me and until then I am free to be with/see whomever I choose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: storey_c
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 10:25am
Unless you have discussed seeing each other exclusively or have any other inclination that the two of you are exclusive then why wouldn't you go on a date with another guy? If he hasn't expressed these feelings then you're not betraying him.
Just don't treat the other guy like you're just passing the time. Go with him because you genuinely want to be around him and get to know him better. And if 'B' knows you went on a date and doesn't take it well, then it's probably best you're not with him anyway. He wouldn't have a right to get upset if you hadn't agreed to only date each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: storey_c
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 12:00pm
I'd call B and find out where he stands. If he doesn't return your call or is able to have a frank discussion with you then it is time to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
In reply to: storey_c
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 1:14pm
By the time S calls again (next week) you will know where you stand with B. If you don't hear from B by next week, you'll know its over. If B calls and acts peculiar, you will also know the r-ship just isn't the same and you can make your decision from there. It sounds to me that B is punishing you for your mistake. People who punish people do not make good friends or bf's.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: storey_c
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 4:34pm

If you and B are exclusive, then I think you should be clear about where you stand with him before you accept a date with any other guy.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
In reply to: storey_c
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 12:39am

I got ahold of B today. He has had his ringer off the last couple of days. There has been a cold/flu going around and he had it, got over it and now is sick again but worse than before. I knew there was something wrong. B doesnt miss work for anything and he hasnt been at work for the last couple of days.

We talked for a bit but nothing about our relationship. He had to let me go because my baby niece needed my attention, she is 9 days old. I asked him if he wanted me to give him a call next week or should I wait for him to call me. If he wanted this relationship to be over, than I would assume he would say that he would call me and then never call but he didnt he told me to give him a call next week.

With Christmas coming we will not be seeing each other very much. I work 40 hrs a week and he works about 50 hrs a week and they are different shifts. That will give us some time to think and find out if this is what we really want. I know that I want to be with him.

As for S, we have already discussed our relationship and we have both said that we are just interested in being friends with each other.