Need advice, boyfriend said wrong name

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Need advice, boyfriend said wrong name
7
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 1:49pm
Hi everyone!

Sorry to bother you all but I really need some help with this. I am not sure what to do, how to feel or even if what I am feeling is legit.

This morning, my boyfriend of 11 months and I were having sex. I was going down on him when he said "Oh my gosh Amy." The problem there is my name is not Amy. I got upset and stopped. Explained to him what he said and he told me that he did not say that and if he did he did not mean to say that. He doesn't even know an Amy. But...he does there was this classmate of his named Amy but when I reminded him of her he said, "her name is Jamie I thought?"

Needless to say part of me believes he really did not mean to say that. That he was not thinking of Amy. But the other part of me is actually hurt by the comment. Sex after that was shot, he continued to appologize as I was getting ready for work. Telling me that I know he loves me and ONLY me.

I just really wanted someone to talk to about this annonymously. I mean I am a bit embarrassed by it so I do not want to bring it up to any of my friends. I am not sure wether I should let it go or be upset. More or less I would just like to hear some advice from some people...just something.

I am also questioning to if he said "baby" and not "Amy". Our nicknames for each other are baby. So he could have said "Oh my gosh baby" But for some reason I do not think I heard wrong. Maybe he meant to say baby but it came out Amy?? I don't know. And now I feel like I am making excuses and I am just so confused.

Please help! I really love him and I know he really loves me.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 1:53pm
Have you ever had a previous suspiscion regarding amy/jamie??

Lilypie Baby Days<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 2:18pm
Nothing really out of the ordinary. She use to call him a lot but as far as I know he never returned calls. Then she started calling me to see if all of us could hang out because he never called her back. (Amy)

It was just weird and I did not know how to react to it. This has never happened to us before. I know my boyfriend loves me and only me. I am just not sure how to put it out of my mind. I keep hearing it over and over in my head.

Thank you for your help/advice!

:-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 2:33pm
Ok...other than the amy thing (by the way, she sounds a little weird wanting to hang out all the time...lol), do you ever suspect him of infidelity?

Lilypie Baby Days<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 3:07pm
I have never needed to suspect him of anything before, your right.

Thanks Wendie for your help. I'm starting to feel better already.

:-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 6:51pm
Unless you have an insecurity issue, you should trust your instincts and "make a mental note" so that if there are any other red flags you are adding them together. Initially I agreed with Wendy...but reading your replies I spotted an inconsistency: if Amy was calling all the time, why did he say he didn't even know anyone named Amy? How could he be that forgetful? I doubt it. Someone harasses you, you forget completely. And I would feel suspicious that someone continues to call after never get a call back...granted, she may be "weird" and he innocent...but thats two things now...I'd be on the look out for number 3. Just my two cents tho.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 10:55pm
I would chalk it up as a mishear...but if he said he didn't know an Amy and you said he had a class with a girl named Amy...I don't know. It's probably not worth the worry. It was probably just a gasp of emotion. If he says it again...then I'd kick him to the curb.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 10:38am
The only thing I would question is that you guys have been together for 11 months. Usually if one partner has a slip of the tongue it happens early in the relationship because of a recent last relationship. I have actually done this (not during sex) after I divorced my husband, when I got into my next relationship I actually called that guy by my ex husband's name several times when we argued (cause I was used to arguing with the ex husband) but I never thought of him during sex. I would try to chalk it up and forget about it--but keep your eyes wide open and flag it as a possible red flag.