need advice on how to get over him

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
need advice on how to get over him
2
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 1:57pm

hey, back in Novemeber, one of the doctors that I work with, asked me out, Im a nurse, and we had a friends with benefits relationship until he moved away in the end of January. I never found out if the reason we never had a real relationship was because he didnt like me enough, which I assumed, or because he didnt want to start a relationship when he knew he was moving away before he met me. He just told me that he thought I was really cool. I didnt think I would miss him this much, 3 months later!! I havent spoken to him since he moved, and wont since i have no way of getting in touch, he still has my cell phone number. I've tried to keep myself busy and forget about him and tell myself i'll never see or hear from him again, but I still miss him and havent forgotten about him. I understand that I started to really like him, and this is the danger of friends with benefits cause there is no real relationship....anyways, any ideas???? to forget about him....

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 4:41pm

Getting over someone takes 3 things...time, no contact and acceptance that it's over and that you're not right for each other. You've got the first 2 down, but it sounds like you need to focus on acceptance. One thing that helps is thought-stopping--forcing yourself to STOP every time you think about him and redirect your thoughts to something like, "he wasn't the right guy for me. I accept that and am moving on". You'll have to do it dozens if not hundreds of times a day at first, but it does work if you keep at it! Here's a link to the website of the Breaking Up is Hard to Do board that describes how thought-stopping works:

http://www.geocities.com/breakingupishard/advise.htm

Hope this helps!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 05-26-2006 - 9:54pm
Start making a serious effort to meet new men - ones who are available geographically and emotionally
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