Need Advice... PLEASE!
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| Thu, 10-25-2007 - 12:03pm |
I've been dating my current boyfriend for about a year now, and we've been living together for the majority of that time. I love him with all of my heart, and I know that he wouldn't cheat on me or lie to me or hurt me in any way. My last relationship was abusive, and my ex exhibited all of those qualities. So problem is that when we first started dating, I was made aware of the fact that his best friend was a girl, and I was okay with that. But over the past few months, I've become more and more uncomfortable. Well, maybe paranoid and jealous are better words to use. His friend likes to gossip (don't we all!) and I am always so worried that he is going to tell her things about me or about our relationship that I'm not comfortable with her knowing. For example, when I was younger, I used to cut myself (I was diagnosed with Bi Polar Disorder and an Anxiety Disorder). This isn't exactly a secret among my friends and family, because they were all present when it was going on... but my BF wasn't in the picture then and I had to explain to him what the scars where from and why and everything. I'm so scared that he is going to tell his friend this and I don't want her to know. Part of the reason is that she is a Behavioral Speacialist and I don't want my life to become one of her cases. It is to the point that I'm afraid to open up to him about certain things because I don't want him to tell her. She knows more about him than I do. He opens up to her more than me. And I have a hard time accepting that b/c I believe there are certain things that you don't discuss with friend of the opposite sex... it just doesn't look good. To make this situation more complicated, whenever I am around, they talk around me... like I'm not even there. And she invites him out to dinner... alone (even though she is engaged). And he won't talk to her on the phone when I'm around and he deletes all the text messages that she sends him and vice versa. I have to believe that he isn't cheating on me. He just wouldn't do it. And in all fairness, he has known this girl for like


Just because two people have known each other for 20 years doesnt mean that eventually they dont start to look at each other differently.
I am not a fan of opposite sex friends - especially socializing alone with each other.
Okay, the way you dont come off as a jealous clingy person is to focus on what he is or is not giving to you in the relationship - and less on this woman.