Need advice quick please
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Need advice quick please
| Sun, 09-12-2004 - 4:49pm |
Not sure where to start but here goes. I have been dating this guy for four months, we have broken up approximately four times. Got back together last week, his mom had family photos and wanted me in them, and so I went. She knows that things are not secure in the relationship. Anyhow, against my will, he went camping with his friends. One of which is female and asked him to go to a wedding and then to crash at a hotel with her. Needless to say, that was not cool. While he was away, I went to a stagette, then out to the regular bar, went back to this guys place with others and had a good time. EXCEPT.....I was drinking heavily and we all had a place to sleep. My place was with the person who lives at this place in his bed. I was fine with it not thinking anything would happen. Well, it really was not much but more than enough to make me feel guilty. It was a little touching and that was it. Now the boyfrined is coming back. Not sure what to say. Things have been going really, really badly lately and to be honest I was just looking for someone to cuddle with, nothing more. I feel like I should be honest with him and explain, but for me there is no explanation to cheating, and now that I feel like I have done it, it sucks. The worst is, this guy works at the bar me and my boyfriend attend. When I tell my boyfriend, do I tell him who it was with? Errr.. I can not believe I have put myself in this position. Please help.

you need to come clean. i know it's not what you want to hear, but do it. and do it now. tell him why, and he'll probably want to know with whom, so you better tell him that (but ask him if he wants to know jsut in case he doesn't). and i wouldn't go to that bar again. there are plenty of good ones, find another one. you need to come clean and you need to do it now. if you hide it, it make come out later. coming clean immediately he might be able to forgive you cause you were honest about it.hiding it entails lying, and lying ontop of cheating is just totally unacceptable and unforgivable. Also, make sure you tell him it was jsut cuddling-make sure you don't jsut vaguely specify with cheating because some people think cheating means sex.
hope you guys can overcome this obstacle.
best of luck,
Rosie
if you feel that this guilt will remain with you for a long time if you don't fess up, then do it. plus, sounds like things aren't stable anyways, so what do you have to loose really? i dont think it's necessary for your bf to know who you spent the night with. and it may be wise not to disclose that kind of information especially if he would know the guy considering you attend that bar. for all you know he could have bee doing the same thing? right? what would probably solve this (for both of you) is a long talk - but i dont suggest on disclosing names.
hth
take care