Need advice from someone older!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2004
Need advice from someone older!
4
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 8:17pm
I'm a senior in college getting ready graduate, and i'm dating a guy long distance who is out of college and working full time. Not only do I have our age difference (21 and 26) but we are long distance also.

We have been dating a year and 4 months and recently I have started feeling like I don't know where the relationship is going. I don't know if I love him (we don't say i love you) and after school I'm not sure where I will be. He said that he has seriously thought about moving with me wherever I go. He is an absolutely wonderful guy but I just don't know if I see him in my future right now. I've always pictured myself being out of school and dating before I tried to settle down.

I talked to him about breaking up because I'm scared that he's alot more ready for this relationship than I am. I also think that there is a Mr. Right out there for me and I don't think it's him!

I'm so confused- do I just need to chill out and take this day by day?

Am I wrong in thinking there is a perfect person out there for me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 11:12pm
Follow your instincts...if you're not jumping up and down because this guy is building his life around you, he is not the guy for you. You SHOULD get out there and date a lot and start your career, set up your own apartment before you begin to think about settling down.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 2:16pm
If you don't think he's Mr. Right, then he isn't. Don't be afraid to be single. You'll probably date other men and get your heart broken at some point, but you can't settle for this guy you're dating now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 5:59pm
If you feel that you aren't ready to have a committed relationship with this guy, you aren't. I think you have the right idea to date others and enjoy your single years until you feel the need to settle down.

Don't allow him to convince you into doing something you don't want to do.

As far as finding a perfect mate for yourself, not many do. You will in time, find someone you love very much, so keep looking until you do. good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 6:48pm
aw5607...

If the 2 of you aren't saying "I Love You" NOW...Pianoguy doubts that 'term of endearment' will be uttered at all?

What you seem to have is a friendship that goes a bit farther...but not to the point of a serious relationship? And judging from your choice of words, you aren't ready to SETTLE DOWN!

Please consider a little advice from a 'mature man?' . You are 21 years old and have an infinite number of possible encounters ahead of you! Explore YOUR dreams first. Let your b/f know that while his 'offer' to follow you is very appealing...you NEED your space for awhile.

If you both can handle a trial separation from each other....what you have now will either grow A LOT STRONGER on both sides...or COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR!

Best wishes and warm thoughts,

Pianoguy