need clarity about Him-i m v.v.confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
need clarity about Him-i m v.v.confused.
3
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 4:15am

I had broken up with my bf sometime back. we were long distance. it is not that he was bad or we did not get along, it is just that i was confused whether he was the one or not. but we had dated only for few months. but even after that i was unable to say the words i love you to him. what if i made a mistake? i am confused. i keep worrying whether i let a good match go. but i was not falling in love with him and that is what was disturbing me.

i have a gut feeling he will return or try to contact me and ask what's up and what my thoughts and feelings are. i have a very strong gut feeling about that, coz the breakup was very sudden, and it came from my side, and then i went away on vacation.

so what should i do when i face him again?
i am soo sooo confused.
with or without him, i still feel both ways are not right.
and with or without him, i feel both ways are right too.
i was not crazy about him, but he made a good partner.

please help me find clarity. what would u do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 8:46am
Just tell him you are still confused, which you are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 12:29pm

It's cliche, but the right person will bring minimal, if any, confusion to your life.

If you run into him, you just need to be honest. You're confused and you need time to figure out why.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 2:40pm

thank you for your replies.
just that i sometimes doubt my state of thought sometimes. what if i am missing a chip in my head. what if i don't have the ability to recognize a good thing. can i trust myself to make the right decision. i am doubting my doubt. i am stopping myself because i don't feel that love for him. what if love and longing is not all that important but caring and companionship and fun and compatibility is? and i did have love coming from his side. the only thing missing was love from my side. but i have heard from others that love develops with time. so i don't know if i should push myself further with him. compatible men have been very very hard to find (in my experience). sigh.